Me: So how are your houseguests?
The Sweet Girl’s Mom told me a college friend of her husband’s was staying with them. He and his two sons. She had rushed around to get the house in order and finish the preparations for her daughter’s birthday party.
We watched the jumper and scanned the gym full of children, searching for any signs of trouble.
My friend: I understand what you go through with the boys?
Me: (chuckling) Have they turned the house upside down?
My friend: Yes. I mean, no. That’s not what I meant. They don’t aim. There was pee everywhere in the bathroom after they went to bed last night. On the floor. On the toilet. Behind the toilet. On the wall.
Me: I’m sorry.
My friend: And it’s worse in the morning! Sleepy boys don’t aim. It was disgusting. I don’t know how you deal with it. And these boys are 9 and 11! You have YEARS of this to go! All I could think as I cleaned it up was “Poor Fae, she must do this every day and night.”
Me: It’s bad. I just avoid the bathroom most days. I use Clorox wipes. Did you?
My friend: I did. I just don’t understand how they can’t aim at their ages.
Me: My brothers were accusing me of peeing on the toilet even while I was away at college. My mom asked them, “Do you think I actually believe Fae turns around and faces the toilet and pees to get you in trouble?”
My friend: Boys. Boys are so . . . gross.
Me: You don’t even know the half of it. I’m going to make a spray that’s suppose to kill the smell.
My friend: YOU mean it stays?!?!?!?!!!!
Me: Um, no. I doubt you have the same problem. One night versus every day.
My friend: Oh, thank God.
Me: (I gave her a hug.) I’m so sorry. Boys have some weird issues. TORNADO E! Do NOT do Spinjitzu on your brother!