Pool vs Bathroom

I had to get out of the pool.

Tornado S: Mommy!  Where are you going?!

Me: I have to go to the bathroom.

The boys just looked at me.

Me: Because I don’t pee in the pool.  Like some people.

Tornado E and Tornado S started giggling like the little mad men that they are.  Tornado A joined in.  Just as I thought.

Me: You shouldn’t pee in the pool.  It’s gross.  Very, very gross.

I spit that pool water out like a fountain.  (Last summer: Wally: God, are you like ten?  Me: {spitting again.}  Maybe.  It’s possible.  Wally: How do you do that?  Me: {spitting again} Practice.  Come on; you did water polo; you lived in California; you had to be the pool all the time.  Like me.  Wally: I didn’t learn to do that.  Me: {spitting again} That’s too bad.  {I did a somersault.}  Can you do this?  {I cupped water and shot it out of my hand.}  Wally: {in a jealous tone)}No!  Tornado E: Mommy is awesome!)

The boys kept giggling.  Tornado E had a devious look on his face.  Damn.  It must have been recently.

My Dad: Boys, you better be careful.  You pee in a pool too often, and your winky will turn purple.

Winky?  Winky?  Really?  Dad, come on.  Penis.  It’s a penis.

I raised an eyebrow.  My dad shot me a look.  I kept my mouth shut.

Tornado E and Tornado S: Really?

My Dad: (like a sage) Yes.

Tornado E: COOL!

Yeah.  That’s my boy.

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