Figuring Out Motherhood

I’m not a perfect mom.  Far from it.  When I lose my cool, I yell.  I have a hard time coming up with other solutions if the one I’m working with isn’t working.  I get frustrated, annoyed, aggravated, stressed, crazed.  I’m sure I’m like most parents.  I hold my own, but I wish I was better.  Every night I pray for help to raise my boys into the Good Guys.

Some nights I look back and think…

I didn’t Praise them enough.  I need to do that.  Then they would feel valued and loved and respected and get the attention they deserve before they act.  It would encourage them to do better.

I didn’t have enough Patience.  I had time.  What’s 5 minutes in the scheme of things?  He would’ve made the right choice.  He would’ve figured it out.  He would’ve done better.  I didn’t need to lose my cool.

I’ve got to use Eye Contact.  If I looked him in the eye, then he would know I was serious, that I meant it, that I had his attention.  I wouldn’t have had to nag 5 times.  God, I hate nagging.

Enough nights like those go by, and I realized that I keep forgetting.  What’s a mother to do?


Ok, so I write on my wrist.

Quite a bit.

At least, it’s better than “Field Trip Tuesday” or “Milk” or “Teacher Conference Wed” or “Website” or “Find Shoes” or “Printer” or “Printer Cartridge” or “Sugar” or “Soy Sauce” or “Snack” or “Permission Slip” or “Call Doctor” or “Picture Day” or “Teacher” or “Bring $” or “Ask Mom” or “Don’t kill the kid!”

I only need those once.

And I write on my wrist a lot.

I’ll figure out this mom-stuff just yet.

Did I forget to replace the soy sauce?


4 Responses to “Figuring Out Motherhood”

  1. Lisa Says:

    I’m one of those people who always looks at the background of a photo…it tells me a lot about the person. The background in your photo tells me yours is a home filled with love and fun. I think you’re doing everything just right….

  2. Karyn @ kloppenmum Says:

    I reckon Praise is over-rated and use a lot of “thankyou” instead. Patience is alright up to a point and then they need to know we mean business…. Eye-Contact is a good one to remember, and using that loads has changed my life dramatically and for the better – not just for instructions but also when they’re talking to us or just checking in to know that we love them…Also, I agree with Lisa – love and fun resonates through to me too.

  3. faemom Says:

    I try to use Praise more because I’m a pessimist. I focus on the negative. So at the end of the day, I look back and I see more nagging and scolding than encouraging and acknowledging their accomplishments. I don’t think patience is a stand in for guiding. I just lose it too quickly sometimes. So what if it takes an extra minute for Sean to get his shoes? So what if I have to wait a minute more for Aidan to grab a toy? But I’m slowly learning that I shouldn’t repeat myself, just follow through. And yes, eye contact. My boys even struggle maintaining eye contact when they’re just talking to people. Which I know I need to help them with. Ugh! Parenting is so hard.

  4. faemom Says:

    Thanks. I’m trying. This parenting thing is tough.

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