That Pesky Vocabulary Problem


And it didn’t come from my mouth.  Which is kind of amazing.  It’s my favorite cuss word.  It’s one of words I haven’t cut so well from my vocabulary like I did with the major ones and minor ones.  Like all parents, that’s been hard because I use cock-blocker like almost every other day, and really, I don’t want to explain that.  Also what does one call that rubber protector for the Wii remote?  My friends and I have always called it a condom, but obviously I can’t use that any more, so I have to say “that clear rubber thingy.”  Not as helpful or quick or clever or funny as condom.

But back to the word “crap” and who said it.

And I should be happy with my luck that it was Tornado E and not Tornado A.  Tornado A already knows “stupid,” “shut up,” “idiot,” and “what the hell.”  Um, the last one is my fault.  The others are the by-product of having older brothers.

With Tornado E saying “crap,” I scolded him and told him the next time he said that word he would be going to time out.

Later that day.

Tornado E: Crap!

Me: What did you say?

Tornado E: But Daddy says it!

The Ex: I do no-

Me: I don’t care who says it.  You’re not allowed to say it.

The Ex: But I don-

Me: And what did I say would happen if you said it again?

The Ex: He didn-

Tornado E: I would go to time-out.  But Mommy!  I won’t say it again.  I promise!

The Ex: I ne-

Me: Too bad, dude.  Time-out.  (I pointed toward the door.)

Tornado E: But Mommy!  I’m scared to go down to time-out alone!

Me: You should’ve thought about that before you said it.  It’s time to get ready for bed, and the family is upstairs.  And the time-out chair is downstairs.

Tornado E: Mommy!

The Ex: I nev-

Me: Fine.  You may sit outside this room.  Eight minutes.

Tornado E stomped out of the room, glared at me, and sat down on the floor.  I turned on the timer on my phone.

The Ex: I don’t say that word.  He didn’t get it from me.

Me: It doesn’t matter.  Because he heard it doesn’t mean he gets to use it.

The Ex: But I don’t say that word.


Me: I know.  I know where he got it.  But it doesn’t excuse him from his consequences.  He’s trying to get out of time-out by laying the blame at someone else’s feet.

That kid is too smart for his own good.

At the end of time-out, Tornado E and I talked, and he agreed not to use “crap” again, and I promised him I would put him in time-out if he forgot.

The Next Day.

Tornado E: That’s crappy!

Me: Tornado E!  Go to time-out!

Tornado E: I didn’t say “crap.”  I said “crappy.”

Me: Same thing.  Go to time out.

Tornado E got up, glared at me, and sat in the time-out chair.

That kid is too smart for his own good.


2 Responses to “That Pesky Vocabulary Problem”

  1. Jane Says:

    A born negotiator. You better start saving up for law school!

  2. faemom Says:

    Great, now I’m unleashing a lawyer onto the world. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

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