Why write a blog and not tell stories? That was the whole point of this…..
Me: I can help you.
Tornado E: You can’t.
Me: I teach freshman English.
Tornado E: But you don’t teach GATE freshman English.
Kid….
***
Me: I can help you.
Tornado E: No, you can’t.
Me: You’re working on English. I’m an English teacher.
Tornado E: Well, you don’t know MLA.
Me: Kid, do you even know what my degree is in?
***
Me: Tornado S, you’re in trouble!
Tornado S: I didn’t do it.
Me: No kidding. I’ve heard from two teachers now. You haven’t done any work for 2 weeks. You’ve just sat in front of the computer doing nothing for TWO WEEKS.
Tornado S: I did science.
Me: Try again. The last teacher that emailed me was your science teacher.
***
My Mom: Fae, you need to go to the grocery store. I forgot to ask you for sour cream.
Me: You sent me yesterday.
My Mom: You’re the only one who can go.
Me: And the day before that. And the day before that.
I am the red shirt of my family.
***
My mom has been making masks.
My mom: Fae, I sold your mask.
Me: You sold my mask? The one you made me last week?
My mom: One of my friends wanted a green one. It’s not like you’ve worn it.
Touche.
***
Tornado A: Hi, Mama! I’m up!
Me: It’s…. 6…. why…?
Doze because I don’t have to commute anymore….
Tornado A: I checked my assignments! I didn’t have any! So I did 3 math exercises and 3 English assignments! So I’m done!
Me: It’s…. 6:30….. Dude, your teacher hasn’t posted anything. I haven’t posted anything!
Tornado A: But I checked!
***
Tornado A: MAMA! I’m done! With all my assignments!
Me: It’s only been twenty minutes!!!
***
My grandma: I need to get milk and eggs and a cake mix.
Me: Why won’t you let me go for you?
My grandma: I’m not frail.
Me: You’re in. the. vulnerable. group.
My grandma: I’ll be fine.
Me: I have charts and articles. I’ll bore you with research.
My grandma: Fine. If it makes you feel better, go.
***
Me: Are you done with homework?
Tornado E: …. Yes….
Me:…..
Tornado E: (nods and smiles)
Me:…….
Tornado E: ….Maybe…..
Me: Do you work.
Tornado E: (sighs, grumbles, goes to his desk) mumbles something
***
Me: Are you done with your work?
Tornado E: I’m watching something first (on his phone).
Me: Is it for school?
Tornado E: ….Yes…..
Tornado E’s phone: *%$!@
Me: Your phone tells me that’s a lie. Do your work.
***
Me: Did you read?
Tornado S: YES!
Me: Was it game stats online?
Tornado S: Yes!
Me: Go read an actual book.
Tornado S: But-
Me: Now.
***
Tornado S: I don’t see why I can’t read online.
Me: Are you reading game stats?
Tornado S: I was researching.
Me: Game stats?
Tornado S: What does it matter? Reading is reading. It’s all the same.
Me: Can you make connections? Predictions? Analyze theme, plot, characters?
Tornado: I’ll get a book. (mumbles something about teachers and mothers.)
***
My mom: Fae, I need green onions.
Me: I’ll put it on the list. I’m going now.
My mom: Do you have your mask?
Me: Yeah!
My mom: Let me see.
Me:….
***
Me: Why does my face mask smell of peanuts?
***
When you wear a face mask, no one can see you mouth cuss words. Even when you wear a face mask, people can still hear you cuss though.
Faemom 
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