If It Was Juice

The boys were pretty good during sunrise mass on Easter.  It might have something to do with my parents being there.  My mom’s stern looks and my dad passing out mints when a boy wiggled.

They even did well in line for their blessing, instead of communion.  It wasn’t until the walk back to our seats that Tornado S became loud.

Tornado S: Mommy!  That was wine, right?!

Me: (whispering) Yes.

Tornado S: Why didn’t you get any?!

Me: (whispering) I’ll tell you later.  Shh.

Tornado S: If it was juice, then you would let me have some!  Why isn’t it juice?!

Me: (whispering) You’re Catholic.  It’s always wine.

Tornado S: But if it was wine, you would let me have some!

Me: (whispering) No.  Not until you’re first communion.

We entered the pew and moved to our seats.

Tornado S: But what if it was juice?!

Me: (whispering) No.  Now kneel and pray.

My Dad: (whispering) I could tell him about my church ….

Me: (whispering) Not helping,  Nazarene.

My dad chuckled.

So Tornado S’s obsession with communion continues from since he was a baby.  He’ll make a good Catholic some day.

Homer: “Uh-huh. And how do I join? Do I whale on some Unitarians?”
Fr. Sean: “Well, it’s a little harder than that. It starts with looking deep inside yourself…” (Homer groans) “But it ends with bread and wine”
Homer: “Woo-hoo!”

from Season 16, “The Father, The Son, and The Holy Guest Star”

A Discussion in Church

The priest: Jesus loves you.  Take care of Mom.

He blessed Tornado E and then Tornado S.  They were as quiet and still as active children can be, which is to say, they wiggled and giggled and walked away with more noise and movement than they should have.

The priest: Body of Christ.

Me: Amen.

I received my communion as the priest blessed Tornado A.  I genuflected because some Catholic school habits die hard and turned to follow the boys.  Tornado E was already near the back, but Tornado S lingered a yard away.

Tornado S: Mommy!  (I couldn’t Shh or talk because my mouth was full.)  Did you like the cookie?!  Was it a good cookie?!  What kind of cookie was it?!

I gently turned him around and nudged him up the aisle.  I caught smiles from the adults around us.  I was able to swallow.

Me: (whispering) It’s not a cookie.  It’s more like a cracker.

Tornado S: A cracker?  Was it good?  When can I have one?

Ever since he was a baby, Tornado S has wanted communion. As a baby in arms, he would pitch a fit as we walked away from the priest without his communion. If I was the embarrassed mom type, I would have turned red. But since I’m not, I just held him against me to keep him from squirming out of my arms.

Me: (whispering) You’ll receive your First Communion when you’re seven.

Tornado S: So when I’m eight!  I can have one!

Me: (whispering) Yes.

Tornado S: (running to catch up with Tornado E) TORNADO E!  It’s not a cookie!  It’s a cracker!  And we can have one when we’re EIGHT!

It pays to have a sense of humor as a parent.