It’s all about names

Mommy, this is Sicky the robot.

Mommy, this is Sicky the cactus.

Meet my friend, Sicky the bug.

Mommy, say hi to Sicky the car.

This is my friend Sicky the bear.

My friend Sicky the monster is coming swimming with us.

Sicky the dinosaur is going to have lunch with us.

Mommy, Sicky the duck is thirsty.

Mommy, Sicky the octopus is hungry.

Sicky the worm wants to play outside.

Sicky the snake is my friend.

Sicky the dog wants to watch cartoons.

Sicky the turtle doesn’t want peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Look, it’s Sicky the rock.

 

Kid, we’ve got to expose you to more names.   I don’t know how, but we will. 

 

Look in the mirrors Mommy.  It’s my friends Sicky, Dicky, and Luke.  They’re brothers.

 

Ok, I can work on this.

 

Met my friend Sicky the truck.

This is Sicky the dragon.

Look, it’s Sicky the tree.

 

Or not.  What happen to Gooey?  I miss him.

Vote for my post on Mom Blog Network

Spam, like flyers on windsheilds

I get spam here and there.  Not a lot.  Some is just gibberish from some computer in Eastern Europe or China.  Others are links to other site, trying to boost their internet rating (because for some reason I’ve got a really high Google rating.  Weird).  Surprisingly I don’t get a lot of Viagra or porn spam, which I find weird because I talk about penises an awful lot on this blog.  Perhaps, I talk too much about penises on this blog, but that’s really not my fault.  Evan is still potty training.  If you, like my husband, think I only talk about penises to get more clicks, I have to point out the crafts get WAY more hits than anything written in The Penis Rules

But all that changed this week when some how the spam computers picked up my post titled A Discussion of Rolls and Dresses, which must mean my readers and I are just dying to see nude celebrity pics. Dying. 

First off I’m totally off the radar when it comes to celebrities.  Sure, I know the big ones, but all those B-listers  (Yes, if you’re on a reality show, you are not on the A-list) just get jumbled in my head.  So I had to turn to the internet and my baby brother to find out who these people.

Kim Kardashian.  Who the hell is this chick?  I’m still not sure.  Why is she famous?  Why should I care to see her naked?

Rihanna.  I recognized the name only because she had a horrible hairstyle last week, and Yahoo had to show everyone.

Miley Cyrus.  Eww!  She’s a kid.  And those pictures are fakes.  No one is that stupid to throw away her career to do a naked shoot.  No one.

Daniel Radcliff.  Right, I never read the Harry Potter books or seen the movies, so I was like who.  Then I looked it up and realized “right, the kid did a nude scene on stage to break the Harry Potter stigma.  I wonder how that worked out.”

Then finally, I could click a link to see teen nude pics, which would be tempting if I wasn’t so sure these would be of Girls.  Even if it were Boys, then I would have laughed my ass off like I did when I say my first Playgirl.  Insert: reminiscing giggle.

So in conclusion: I took a moment to talk about nude pictures over penises; spam sucks; and I wonder which word cued the spam computers, discussion, rolls, or dresses.

Vote for my post on Mom Blog Network

Arr! We be pirates!

Somewhere along the line, we converted to pirates.  Sure, there are sushi chef days, knight days, dinosaur days.  Evan often pretends he is a baby alien in a box.  Master Viper and Master Tiger still come over for lunch every once in a while.  But pirates is a thing we play every day now.  And I think it’s my fault.

Maybe it was when Evan started hooking on the Backyardigans pirate edpisode, and I looked for it all over YouTube, only to find hilarious homemade, stop-action shorts.  Maybe it was when I learned the lyrics of “A Pirate’s Life” and decided I needed to make new verses that were more child-friendly.  Maybe it was when I bought The Pirates that Don’t Do Anything because we had no movies of good guy pirates that were age suitable.

Evan: Daddy?  Do butt pirates have arrows?

Me: I’m sure they have bows and arrows.  (Quietly to the husband) He has no idea what that is.

The Husband: (quietly to me) Are you sure?

Or yesterday when we were about to go swimming.

Evan: I’m a BUTT PIRATE!

Me: A What?! (He doesn’t know what it means.) Evan, what’s a butt pirate?

Evan: It’s a naked pirate.

Now how do we get that phrase out of your head?

Now Evan talks about his pirate birthday party, which has sent me salivating with ideas.  Sashes, bandanas, and tattoos for all the kids.  We’ll make craft foam boats.  We’ll paint rocks gold.  We’ll have a luau and include Evan’s love of Tiki gods.  We’ll build our own mini water park in my parents’ backyard.

I learned yesterday I was getting too carried away as I stood in line with my mom at the material store, getting the last minute things for the bridal shower.  I grabbed a ruminant of black material.  My mom arched her eye brown in silent question.  “We can make pirate flags!  Each boy can make their own!”  My mom asked, “How would you do that?” “We could- We could iro- No.  We would use-Um, no that won’t work either.  I have.  Damn.  Never mind.  I’ll put this back until I can think it through.”

I can’t help but get excited because Sean has become equally excited as Evan and I.

Sean goes around singing, “Yo, ho, yo, ho” every where.  Then he got a pirate shirt with a skull and cross bones the other day.  He touched the shirt and went “Arrrr!”  Then he did it again when ever he wanted people to say pirate.  He tried to say pirate once.  “Pie-Arrrr!”

We’re going to have the best pirate day ever!

Vote for my post on Mom Blog Network

Meet Gooey

Back before Easter, as I scoured the Internet for craft ideas, I fell in love with Family Fun’s plastic egg animals.  They were super adorable.  Since I was working with lots of plastic eggs, I thought they would be great. 

Alas, they did not make the cut for my blog because you needed to hot glue everything, no other glue worked, and as I try to make the crafts friendly for all ages, hot glue, preschoolers, and toddlers do not mix.  (Surprised?  I was.  I mean the boys just LOVE guns.)  Rather than pick a mouse, a dog, a cat or any animal the website had, Evan picked a tiger.  So he drew on the lines; while, I cut and glued.  It turned out pretty cute.  (No picture of the mouse and tiger because Sean loved pulling things off than putting them on.)  (Also, I think I can come up with more animals and do it through the year.)

Me: Great tiger, Evan.  It was a great idea.

Evan: Mommy!  I want to make Gooey!

Me: You what?

Evan: I want to make Gooey!

Ok, kid.  Let me think.  I let him pick the egg.  Blue.  I turned it so the thin end pointed down (or the bottom of the egg as my grandma calls it).  I glued four pom poms to the “bottom.”  Then Evan picked only one eye.  And there you have it, folks.  Gooey.  The twin brother of B.O.B.

Gooey and BOB

Gooey and BOB

Vote for my post on Mom Blog Network

The Missing Blink

Evan: Seanny’s baby B.O.B!  I’m the Missing Blink!  And you’re Mommy Cockroach PhD!

 

 

Why won’t you let us take you to the movie?  And why am I the cockroach?

 

 

 

 

Vote for my post on Mom Blog Network

We got a band here

Evan: Old McDonald had a farm.  Ei-eio-.  And on that farm he had a cow-

Sean: Cow.

Evan: Ei-ei-o.  With a moo-moo here.  And a moo-moo there.  Here a moo.  There a moo.  Every where a moo-moo.  Ei-ei-o.

Sean: Oh.

Evan: Old McDonald had a farm. Ei-ei-o.  And on that farm he had a dog-

Sean: Da

Evan: Ei-ei-o.  With a ruff-ruff here.  And a ruff-ruff there.  Here a ruff.  There a ruff.  Every where a ruff-ruff.  Ei-ei-o

Sean: Oh.

Evan: Old McDonald had a farm.  Ei-ei-o.  And on that farm he had a Missing Blink.  Ei-ei-o.

Sean: Oh.

Evan: Mommy!  What does a Missing Blink sound like?

Me: I think he roars.

Sean: Ra!

Evan: Which a roar-roar here.  And a roar-roar there.  Here a roar.  There a roar.  Every where a roar-roar.  Ei-ei-o.

Sean: Oh!

Evan: Old McDonald had a farm.  Ei-ei-o.  And on that farm there was a . . . robot! Ei-ei-o.

Sean: Oh!

Evan: With a-  And a-.  Old McDonald had a farm.  Ei-ei-o!  And on that farm he had a B.O.B.  Ei-ei-o.

Sean: Oh!

Evan: With a Suuuuusan here.  And a Suuuuuuson there.  Oh, I think I scared myself. 

Sean: Oh.

Evan: Old McDonald had a farm.  Ei-ei-o.  And on his farm he had a city. Ei-ei-o.

Sean: Oh!

Me: What?

Evan: Old McDonald had a farm.

Me: But what did he have on his farm?

Evan: I don’t know.  Something.  What did it say?

Me: What did what say?

Evan: What did it say?!

Me: What did what say?

Evan: What. Did. It. Say? Mommy!

Me: (sigh) Old McDonald had a farm.  Ei-ei-o.  And on his farm he had a- (I point to Evan).

Evan: A city!

Sean: Ity!

Me: Oh, a city!

Evan: What does a city say?

Me: Hmmm, how about roar, rumble, honk!

Evan: With a roar-rumble-honk here.  And a roar-rumble-honk there.  Here a rumble-roar-honk.  There a rumble-roar-honk. Everywhere a rumble-roar-honk.  Ei-ei-o.

Sean: Oh!

Evan: Old McDonald had a farm.  Ei-ei-o.  And on his farm he had a silversaurus!  Ei-ei-o!

Sean: Oh!

Evan: With a roar-roar here! 

Sean: Roar!

Evan: And a roar-roar there!

Sean: Roar!

Evan:  Here a roar!  There a roar!  Everywhere a roar-roar! Ei-ei-oooooooo!

Sean: Ooooooooooooooooooh!  Yeah!  (He claps)

 

Vote for my post on Mom Blog Network

What do you want to be today?

What do you want to be today?

A pirate?  A blue knight?  A green night?  Kung Fu Panda? Tai Lung? Batman? A Striposaurus? A chameleon? A silver angel?  What?

Evan is finally interested in choosing his outfit for the day.  I’ve heard that girls start this ritual sooner than boys, which I tend to believe because up to a month ago, Evan only wanted to be naked.  Now he gets upset when I try to pick something out or help him get dress.  Except today, but that is another story about getting attention. 

To pick his outfits, Evan decides what he wants to be for the day.  Striposauruses wear strips; while the chameleon wears strips occasionally, but the shirt must be green too.  As Po, Evan wears his “Legend in the Making” shirt, and when he is a fierce snow leopard, Evan MUST wear camouflage pants.  The only pirate shirt we have has a skull and cross bones on it, but it’s not the main pattern of the shirt as in no one would guess he was a pirate.  That goes for Batman, which is either all blue or the one black shirt that has “NoTW,” which just screams vigilantism (maybe it does, I hardly let him wear it as I’m not to keen on the philosophy).  Don’t forget the silver angel, which is quite new.  That is a grey shirt, usually the Mickey Mouse one, and grey pants, which usually are the Mickey Mouse ones.  Of course, there are the robots shirts when he wants to be one of those.  Only when he’s a chameleon will he choose to be the same thing twice in a row.

The other day as I was trying to persuade my son that he can’t go naked like a lion, I started pulling out shirts.

Me: How about this one?

Evan: No, Mommy, I want to be an iris!

Me: What?

Evan: I want to be an iris!

Me: Umm, ok, mmmm.  What color iris do you want to be?  Blue?  Red?  Purple?  (Why did I say purple?  He’s going to want purple now, and we don’t own a purple shirt.)

Evan: Green!  I want to be a green iris!

Me: (I start looking for all our green shirts) Wait.  You mean Irisssshhhh.  You want to wear your green Irish shirt.

Evan: Yes, I want to be a green iris!

Then there are the shoes.  He has black tennis shoes, but those take a back seat to the blue cat-fish shoes that go with the Batman, the blue knight, the green knight, and the pirate outfits.

But then there are the days Evan’s shirts are too boooooring.  Then he decides to wear a button up Hawaiian shirt.  Then he’s better dressed than his mama, and I wonder if my brother’s metrosexual gene was coming out in Evan.

So Evan chooses outfits on what he wants to be for the day, and I’m cool with that.  I actually think we all do the same.  It’s really a fun way to dress.  Will I be the mean mommy?  Will I be the fun mommy?  Will I pretend I’m no one’s mommy?

I’ve started to give Sean a choice between two shirts, and while he is not as advanced as Evan is in his selection, Sean tends to pick things he can say.  He’s shirts are blue and/or have balls or cars on them.  It’s simple and effective.

There’s just one problem with their dressing.  Something that just gets under my skin.    It drives me nuts.  They coordinate!  No matter how hard I try to get them to look different an individual, they both end up wearing similar colors or similar patterns.  It does not help that some people think dressing my boys in the same clothes would be just adorable.  Please.  I want to different boys, not carbon copies.  Mainly because the world is not ready for two Evans, or two Seans, come to think of it.

 

Vote for my post on Mom Blog Network

Paying Respects

Not too long ago, I thought I would never get Tornado E potty-trained.  But now he goes, pulls up his pants, washes his hands, and returns to whatever he was doing without telling me.  Sometimes I’ll walk in to the bathroom and notice the urine, wondering how long that was sitting in the potty, while the plastic soaked up the scent.  Recently he has been caught trying to dump the urine on his own without any help what so ever.  That’s not a good thing.

Since pooping is so new to us, Tornado E runs to tell me he’s done it as soon as his done.  We do our little victory dance.  We run back to the bathroom so that I can inspect and dumb the poop.  As Tornado E washes his hands, I plop the poop into the toilet. 

Tornado E insists he has to flush the toilet.  He puts his left hand on the lever.  He waves goodbye to his poop with his right.  He says, “Goodbye, poop!  Go be with your family!”  Then he flushes.

If all the poop comes from the same place, then they must be family.  If all the poop goes to the same place, it must be a family reunion.  Right?

Vote for my post on Mom Blog Network

More Easter and Spring Crafts for Kids, Preschoolers, and Toddlers

Here are a few more Easter crafts because I’m sure everyone wants more, or maybe I’m just running out of things to do with the boys.  I was waiting for one last craft, which we did today, but unfortunately, it didn’t turn out right.  I have been debating doing those confetti eggs that you bop on someone’s head, but I don’t know how my mom and their moms would feel when I arm all the little cousins with such eggs. . . though I haven’t caused trouble in quite some time.

 

Lambs

(We did a similar craft a year ago when I was taking the boys to a toddler class, but as I figured I’d make it easier than cutting out a sheep head, ears, eyes and nose, and just print out a template.  The boys thought this was pretty cool.  They love anything with glue.)

 

Things you need:

·         Lamb template

·         Glue

·         Cotton balls (lots of them)

Have the child color the lamb if he or she prefers.  Then have the child spread glue all over the lamb’s body.  Have the child put cotton balls on the glue.

 

 

Bunny Tails

(Evan liked this so much he wants to do another bunny, but one with a face.  I’m working on it.  This was easy and the boys enjoyed it.)

Things you need:

·         Circle template (I used two different Tupperware lids)

·         White paper

·         Colored construction paper

·         Scissors

·         Glue

·         Cotton ball

·         Pen

Using the circle templates, trace two different circles on the white paper, one of the head and one for the body.  Draw two bunny years.  Cut out the shapes.  Have the child glue the shapes on to the colored construction paper to create a bunny facing away from you.  Glue on the cotton ball for a tail.

 

 

Daffodils

(The craft calls for a white and a yellow cupcake holder.  My cupcake holders only come in blue, yellow, and pink, so our daffodils are blue, yellow, and pink.  Sean really enjoyed this craft.)

Things you need:

·         Cupcake holders

·         Construction paper

·         Glue

·         Heavy books

·         Green construction paper, scissors (optional)

·         Green marker, paint, or crayon (optional)

Using some of the cupcake holders, place them under some heavy books to flatten them.  After a couple of house, they should be flat.  Have the child glue the flat cupcake holder on the construction paper.  In the center of the flatten cupcake holder, have the child glue a regular cupcake holder.  Have the child add stems and leaves by either gluing green paper or drawing them.

Keep those colored egg shells after you ate your hard-boiled Easter eggs.  I have a great craft for them.

Vote for my post on Mom Blog Network

Easter and Spring Crafts for Toddlers, Preschoolers, and Kids

Is it already Easter time?  That was fast.  Luckily I have a few crafts up my sleeve, so we’ll be calling this the Spring/Easter bird and flower crafts because I realized that’s all we did these last few days. 

As always these crafts are suited from 18 months and up, depending on how much parental help is needed.  As for egg cartons, I prefer the cardboard type as they are easier to color, using crayons, markers and color pencils.  But this time I did the crafts with a Styrofoam egg carton, which can only be colored on with crayon and some pressure.

 

Coffee Filter Carnations

(I like “tye-dying” coffee filters because they look neat and the boys like to do it.  You can make plain white flowers or just color them with markers.  The boys enjoyed this craft quite a bit.)

Things you need:

{     Coffee filters

{     Markers

{     Smock

{     Water

{     Paint brush

{     Green pipe cleaners

Have the child color three coffee filters with the markers to make one flower.  When the child is done coloring, have him/her paint the coffee filters with water.  When the coffee filters are dry, take the filters and fold them, squish them together to look like a carnation.  Twist the pipe cleaner around the bottom of the “flower.”

 

Egg Carton Tulips

(These seem to be everywhere in the craft sites, so I decided to try them.  Evan had a lot of fun making them, but he preferred white tulips rather than coloring them.  I think they might make a nice bouquet for grandma.)

Things you need:

{     Egg carton

{     Scissors

{     Crayons, markers, colored pencils

{     Glue

{     Green pipe cleaners

Cut the egg carton into little cups.  For young children, have them color the egg carton before you cut out the details to make it easier for them to color.  Cut upside down triangles of the open end of each side of the cup to resemble a tulip shape.  Punch a whole in the bottom of the carton for the pipe cleaner.  Have the child color the flower.  Push the pipe cleaner through the hole and make a knot at the end.  Add a dab of glue to the cup to keep the pipe cleaner from slipping.

 

Paper chick

(I had a vision of a cute little chick, so we made these.  The boys had a lot of fun making them.  They especially liked showing Daddy.)

Things you need:

{     Yellow construction paper

{     Orange construction paper

{     Any other color construction paper

{     Two traceable circles, one smaller than the other (I used two different butter tub lids)

{     Pen

{     Scissors

{     Glue

{     Googley eyes (optional)

{     Brown yarn (optional)

Using the circles, trace two circles on the yellow construction paper, one for the head, one for the body.  Cut out a diamond shape out of the orange construction paper for the beak.  Fold the diamond in half to form a triangle beak.  Have the child glue the body and head onto the other sheet of paper.  Have the child glue googley eyes or draw eyes on the head.  Have the child glue the beak.  For extra fun, cut a long piece of yarn and have the child tangle it up.  Glue the tangle of yarn underneath the bird to make a nest.

 

Pom-pom Chicks

(I’ve always adored pom-pom chicks because I thought they were so cute, but I realized it would be a few years before we could handle something as delicate as an egg shell.  So I decided to use a plastic egg shell, and Evan especially loves having his chick “hatch” because he has the top part of the shell too.  I wonder if they would be great surprises in an egg hunt.)

Things you need:

{     Plastic egg

{     Two yellow pom poms (We used the 1 ½ in pom poms)

{     Two googley eyes or black beads

{     Orange construction paper or craft foam

{     Glue

{     Scissors

Cut out a small triangle out of the orange paper for the beak.  Have the child glue the first pom pom in the bottom of the plastic egg.  Then have the child glue the second pom pom on top of the first, creating the body.  Have the child glue the eyes and the beak.

 

Rock-a-bye-Birdies

(I thought this was the cutest craft ever, but it had those pesky blown egg shells.  Well, never mind, I used plastic eggs instead.  Evan loved it so much I never got around to putting on the ribbon before he took off with his, naming it Pumpkin.  So ribbon is optional.  The boys loved making them and playing with them.I found them on this site: http://jas.familyfun.go.com/crafts?page=CraftDisplay&craftid=12151)

Things you need:

{     Egg carton

{     Plastic egg

{     Tissue paper

{     Googley eyes

{     Orange construction paper or craft foam

{     Scissors

{     Glue

{     Ribbon

Cut a small triangle out of the orange paper for the beak.  Cut a strip of tissue paper to wrap around the bottom of the egg like a blanket.  Poke a hole on either side of the carton and tie the ribbon to it, making a swing.  Have the child glue the tissue around the egg.  Have the child glue the egg inside the carton.  Have the child glue the eyes and the beak.

 

 Check out more Easter crafts here.

Vote for my post on Mom Blog Network