A Sobering moment

“Hey, you remember L. and R.?” asked my husband from Evan’s room as he fought to put a toddler in a diaper and a night shirt; while, I, in the nursery, forced Sean into a diaper that he was instant he did not need.

Remember them?  Let’s see.  L. was a promising sales rep my husband wanted to train to become a manager.  R. came to work for my husband as a administrative assistant and customer support person.  They were recovering addicts determined to make it work this time.  Married with a red curled daughter who was almost a year older than Evan.  R. was determined to keep this child as her other four children were taken away and lived with R.’s mother.  I even watched the daughter for a few days because the babysitter was sick.  The daughter loved me because I let her run around and not forced her to watch tv (yeah, great babysitter, huh?).  My husband was determined that we be friends, which lasted until R. started to blame me for miss deposits and missed bills.  Which was crap because I went every other day to collect that stuff, she just would forget to give it to me.  Then L. and R. left to join my husband’s competition, ex-employees with a grudge, who loved to recruit other employees.  Yeah, you can say I remember them.

Me: Yeah.

Husband: Well, when their daughter was taken away-

Me: What?!

Husband: Oh, I didn’t tell you.  I forgot.  Yeah, social services took away their daughter a little while ago.

Me: Why?

Husband: They’re back using.

Shit.  And I looked down at Sean who is now content that he is done with his diaper change.  I picked him up and held him tight.  Nothing will ever take my boys away from me.  And I whispered that fiercely into Sean’s head.

I say this because sometimes I forget how precious my boys are and how lucky I am to have it.  Usually that’s after several temper tantrums, battles of independence, and fits of wailing.  I know I would never damage my relationship with my kids.  How horrible it is to have something just take over your life and forget that you’re a parent.