Get Unserious if you want to critique Twilight

So I’ve been thinking a lot about Twilight and the rest of the series, and since I was doing the dishes, I composed this post with hopes to minimize the complete tediousness of the chore.  I read a lot of reviews about the books and the movies, but I always find bad reviews more interesting because, after all, it’s only one person’s opinion.


First: To those who hate the books.  I read a post the other day about how horrible the books were.  That they were tripe, and the blogger read them all in a weekend and that (THAT!) must be proof on how horrible they are.  Well, let me abuse anyone of the notion that this is fine literature.  These are books written for teenagers, so they aren’t going to be complex as, I don’t know, James Joyce or J.D. Salenger.  Oh, wait I read the Dubliners in a weekend, and I read Nine Stories and Catcher in the Rye in 24 hours.  The blogger went on to bemoan the happy ending and the fact that you can’t have sexy vampires without sex.  Again this was a book written for teenagers, and they LOVE happy endings.  And I, for one, think that it’s nice to have something in pop culture that isn’t about sex.  Aren’t teenagers inundated with too much of it as it is?


I can’t stress enough on how these books and movie were made for the target audience of teen girls.  I find it amusing that all these adults find the movies immature.  Well, gee, when Harry Potter really hit it big, I knew they weren’t the books for me because I wanted something with a little meat in it.  (Note: I plan on reading them soon.)  I read Stephanie Meyers’ books because I wanted an easy read, I love vampire books, and I knew it was really a romance book.  Yup, it’s a romance novel about soul mates.  Any vampire teenage girl book is ultimately about soul mates exist and love conquers all.   It gives them hope that maybe that special some one isn’t in the same high school but he’s out there somewhere looking for you.  Remember what they did with Dracula when the made Bram Stroker’s Dracula.  There was nothing about soul mates in that book.


Second: to all who hated the films.  Yes, it was made strictly for the fans.  Now, granted the director and screenwriter left out some helpful knowledge like why the Cullens don’t drink human blood and hey, vampire saliva is poisonous.  But it really was a decent movie.  I’m sorry it didn’t have enough gore and blood in it for some people, but they must have been oblivious to the fact this was made for teenage girls, not boys.  Then there’s the critic who was upset that Meyers took some liberties with her vampires, but I have a sneaking suspicion that this is the same critic who hated Underworld because it was just another typical vampire movie.  (Duh, that’s why I’m going to see it.  But how good is it: Interview with a Vampire good or Vampire in Brooklyn horrible?)  Of course, Meyers had to do something different with vampires; look at how many other vampire books are out there.


The other biggest problem for critical viewers was the giggling audience.  These critics believed the giggles were because of the poor acting and the poor script.  Well, I just saw the movie for a second time with friends who are big fans of the series, and we giggled a lot too and probably at inappropriate times.  I paid attention to what set it off.  It was because the actors acted like teenagers.  They talked like teenagers.  Edward getting tongue-tied and trying to make Bella believe some stupid lie.  The painful look of a newly-converted-to-animal-blood-diet vampire when he’s around humans made perfect comical sense.  The awkwardness of Bella reminded me of how awkward I was around my high school crush.  We laughed because we saw ourselves, and some of us saw are younger selves.


I’m just saying don’t go to this movie or read these books if you’re going to take them seriously.  When I want to read something serious, I read nonfiction because anything else could be made fun of; remember The DaVinci Code or Little Women.  They should be taken with a grain of salt because they’re fiction.  We read these books and see these movies because we want an escape.  It’s why I read fantasy novels and my mom reads romance.  It’s why I went several times to see Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.  (Which by the way must have the world’s worst romance scenes.  Talk about creepy, Anakin does it way better than Edward.  The lines in Star Wars were so corny AND melancholy.  You just wanted to commit suicide just to get out of watching it.)


So tip of the day: If you’re reading or watching something made for teenage girls, lighten up.