Goodnight. Goodnight.

Me: Goodnight, Sweetheart.

Tornado E: Goodnight, Mama.

Me: I love you.

Tornado E: I love you too.

Me: I’m proud of you.

Tornado E: I’m proud of you too.

Me: (Smug smile) Thanks, baby.

Tornado E: I didn’t meant that. I was copying you. I didn’t mean to say that. (Sigh) I’m proud of you, Mama.

You have no idea how much that means to me.

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Tag

The boys were lounging on my bed as we watched YouTube videos. Some Honest Trailers.

Me: What do you want to do now?

Tornado E: Nothing. We don’t have any time. Daddy will be here soon.

Me: Sure, we do. Tag.

I slapped his leg lightly. His brothers scrambled out of the bed and ran out of the room. I walked out. I walked down the hall.

Tornado A: Mama! Run!

Me: Naw. I can walk. Your brother is too slow to catch me.

That was it. Tornado E ran out of the room at me.

So started a ten-minute game of tag so funny that I nearly peed myself from laughing so hard.

Tornado E is not nearly so fast that I can’t play a game of Gotcha Last.

References

We’re developing quite the private language with inside jokes and references. My boys and I are like a little club. You have to watch Star Wars movies and shows. You have to watch The Simpsons, Teen Titans, Teen Titans Go. And you have to watch Star vs the Forces of Evil.

Which brings us to the other day.

I am very honest about my political beliefs with my boys. Because, you know, they’re my boys, and I’m raising them right. Allies aware of their white male privilege. Empathetic. Compassionate. Inquisitive. Honest. Rebels.

I got off topic.

Any ways. I was explaining President Trump’s apparent need for attention. I don’t know how we got on the topic. But there it is. And I tell them if you can’t back up an opinion without a reason and example/fact, then it’s worth hot air. So I explain my logic.

The boys thought about it for a moment.

Then.

Tornado E: What Glossaryck here’s is me, me, me, me!

It was perfect. The moment. The reference. The timing.

If you’re curious, it’s season 2 episode 26a “Page Turner,” or you can watch this link. Star Vs The Forces Of Evil Episode 26 Part 3

Character

Tornado E: But why are we here?

Me: Because it’s your brothers’ duty to sell popcorn for their pack.

Tornado E: But I’m boooooard.

Me: You could’ve stayed home. You’re old enough.

Tornado E: But it’s scary to be home alone.

Me: Well, it was your choice.

Tornado E: Why do we have to stay longer?

Me: Because no one else signed up for the second spot, so we’re helping out.

Tornado E: But why?

Me: They call this character building.

Tornado E: But the only characters I like are in cartoons!

The other mom started laughing. I signed and ignored him.

That One Kid

We sat around the table, drinking coffees or sodas, planning for the good of the pack.

Me: Remember that policy paperwork we were writing a few months ago? The one that set discipline and rules for the pack? I think we need to finish it and set in stone.

Webelo leader: But the kids that were an issue are gone now.

Me: I know. But it’s not a matter of if we have another child like that; it’s a matter of when. We need policies to protect the pack, the leaders, the scouts, and the parents. We can’t let this go.

Bear leader: You’re right.

Me: Who knows? I might need it with my trouble scout. Tornado A.

Bear leader: The worst one in my den is my kid.

Packmaster: My kid is the worst in my den.

Webelo leader: (pause) I don’t have a worst kid. They’re all great.

The three of us looked at him. Because we knew who the worst one was in his den. We do have meetings at the same time where we gather for the flag ceremony and announcements. We do have pack meetings. The three of us looked at each other and then back at him, deciding silently to not enlighten him on the rule.

If you don’t know who the worst child is in your den, it’s your child.

When you do know who it is, nine times out of ten, it’s your child.

Which is why next den meeting I’m bringing rules, a discipline chart, and a new discipline policy. You know, for my kid.

Asking Personal Questions

Tornado E: Mama, I need to interview you for homework.

Me: Ok, kiddo. What do you want to ask me?

Tornado E: (reading) Who was the most important person to influence you?

Me: As a child? As an adult? As a teacher or writer?

Tornado E: (in that exasperated teenage sigh and voice) Who is the most important person in your life?

Me: Well, the most important people in my life are my boys because I have made them my first thought with every choice I have made in the last 12 years. Ever since you were born, I have had to question and strengthen my beliefs, I have worked to become a better person and role model. For my boys.

Tornado E: That’s a stupid question and a stupid answer. Let’s begin again.

Me: Hey! That was a great answer!

Tornado E: All parents say that.

Yeah, no. And those who say it, do they do it?

Me: Well, what else do you want to know?

Tornado E: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done.

Crap.

Aspirations

We were discussing my cousin’s son’s martial arts pictures. He wore a gi that my boys’ sensei would be annoyed with. But Sensei has the right to his opinions and judgements. He’s the top kung fu martial artist in our fair city. And he’s a great teacher. So what if he perfers the gis to be traditional.

My mom: So he doesn’t do what your boys do?

Me: No. My boys do karate and kung fu. I don’t know what our little cousin does. It doesn’t look like either.

My mom: How many martial arts are there?

Me: A dozen? Two dozen? Let me google it. (Pause. Search. Shock) Wikipedia lists 150 different types. Wow!

Tornado A: Looks like I’ll be getting 150 black belts.