I’ve been remissed lately about the crafts, not just with you, but with the boys too. Last year I had all kinds of crafts for people to do. This year, um, not so much. See, apparently when I get morning sickness, I prefer to let the boys learn from watching Mickey as I lay on the bed, telling my breakfast to stay put as I reread the adventures of Bella and Edward to keep my mind from questioning my sanity over deciding to get pregnant again. This allows little to no time for crafts. And Halloween is in a few days. I’m sorry. I suck. I know.
But before I could become a fat (I know hard to do when I can’t keep my calories down), lazy slob in a hammock, yelling “Tornado E, get Mommy her prying bar; easy does it, easy, sugar” (nod to those who got that reference), I got my energy back. Hallelujah! So we made glue ghosts, which are more glitter than glue. I plan on shaping some rice krispies bars into ghosts tomorrow. Saturday my mom and I are planning a special Halloween dinner with scary face sloppy joes, ghost cheese bread, and bugs. We still haven’t figured out desert. I’m thinking brownie coffins again.
Last year I made ghost toast because Tornado E had a fever, so I had to forgo making ghost pancakes. I cut their sandwiches with Halloween cookie cutters, but they didn’t eat them. For dinner, I made a cheese pizza, using cheddar cheese so that I could use string cheese to make the web. I made the ghost cheese bread out of refrigerated crescent dough, shaping the triangles into ghost shapes. I made brownies that I cut into coffin shapes, iced, and then frosted a little cross on the top of each one. I do this to make up for not being able to throw another large, outrageous Halloween party.
This year, I decided Tornado S should go as a pirate. Sure, I should have asked. I asked Tornado E at this age, and he wanted to be Robin Hood. But I figured Tornado S is obsessed with pirates, so he would love a pirate costume. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a white button up shirt for a 2t boy? No one has them. I even went to a brunch of second hand stores. Finally I settled on a size 4/5, since we all know pirates wore baggy clothes any ways. I bought some dark grey sweatpants that I cut into a zig-zag pattern just below Tornado S’s knees. My mom made Tornado S a black vest, and she found some gaudy button covers for him. I cut him a red sash, tied a red bandana on his head, and placed a foam pirate’s hat on his head. He loved the costume.
Remember last year when Tornado E decided two months out that he wanted to be a witch. This year he couldn’t make up his mind. He wanted to be a bat, a vampire, a green monster, a stick of gum, Halloween candy, a doctor, a rubber chicken, the chicken from Surf’s Up, a bubble gum machine, an alien. At some point, I realized an Uncle was involved somewhere and told them to shut the f up. So when we went to Wal-Mart, I told Tornado E he had to pick one thing. My mom was looking at those cheap t-shirt costumes. Tornado E picked the devil shirt, but since it had a corset, I thought I would make our own. We went into the boy department and picked up a red turtle-neck and red sweats. As I browsed the costume department for horns and a tail, which only came as a girl set, my mom and Tornado E argued because Tornado E had chosen something else, something store bought. I think he wanted to be Darth Vader. The kid has a wicked impression. I broke up the fight and dragged Tornado E to the cash register with him calling me.
I don’t want to be a devil anymore.
What do you want to be?
Ummmm, a transformer!
When we returned home, I ripped off the feathers off the horns and placed them on Tornado E’s head, who laughed in delight, begging to wear his costume, which I obliged. He was excited to be Mommy-what’s-it-called-again a devil.
The next day he was wearing the shirt and pants with the tail still pinned to it before I even got out of bed. Today he was a dragon. Whatever.
Then Tuesday we were going to the special Halloween story time. I dressed Tornado S up first. Then I turned to Tornado E who decided he was going as a pirate too. What?! Are you kidding?! He calmly told me he could wear his pirate costume. I should have said yes, but I have pride in my craftiness, so I couldn’t allow my son to go to Halloween in a store bought piece of crap. I said no. We argued. I called for backup. My mom wasn’t home, and my dad said he didn’t know. Thanks. I turned to Tornado E and gave him a choice. Vampire or devil?
Because this was the option thrown around most, I knew what I was going to do. I pulled out his ring bearer tux. I put him in his pants, shirt and white vest. I used baby powder to whiten his face (because it doesn’t over do it like the costume make up). Unfortunately when we moved, I went through all my make-up and threw out my unused lipsticks, costume make up and such, so the only lipstick I had was the one I actually use (from time to time when I have to be all “adult”). Oh, well. Then I put his black witch’s cape from last Halloween on him. Bam. Traditional vampire. Except his hair was messed up like the newest, most popular, and arguably best looking vampire, and I didn’t have the heart to slick it back. Actually I debated on throwing on some glitter (because I have tubes of that stuff). But I refrained.
Tornado E loved it. But at the end of story time, he had taken the pirate hat and was calling himself a musketeer. Whatever.
Then yesterday when he talked to the triplet’s mom, and she asked what he was going to be for Halloween. He proudly said a devil and described his costume.
Whatever. I’m done.