Tornado S Declares Independence

Tornado S is going through a phase.  He’s asserting his independence, fighting for his freedom to say no when ever he wants to what ever he wants because his mommy is a horrible tyrant that makes him take baths, hold her hand in parking lots, makes dinners, and refuses to let him stay in his pajamas all day if it hasn’t been declared pajama day.  But those damn No’s are driving me nuts.

Tornado S, it’s bath time.  NO!

Tornado S, sit still I have to wash your hair.  NO!

Tornado S, we have to get you dressed.  NO!

Tornado S, do you want to pick out a shirt?  NO!
Tornado S, let’s put on your shoes. NO!

Tornado S, it’s time to go to the store.  NO!

Tornado S, we have to put on your jacket.  NO!

Tornado S, stay by Mommy in the store.  NO!

Tornado S, hold on to the cart.  NO!

Tornado S, don’t touch that.  NO!

Tornado S, hold my hand, please.  NO!

Tornado S, let’s change your diaper.  NO!

Tornado S, did you poop?  NO!

Tornado S, we have to go take Tornado E to school.  NO!

Tornado S, we have to go home.  NO!

Tornado S, we have to go get brother from school.  NO!

Tornado S, we have to go.  NO!

Tornado S, it’s dinner time.  NO!

Tornado S, pick up the toys you’re not playing with.  NO!

Tornado S, it’s bedtime.  NO!

Tornado S, it’s time to put on your pajamas.  NO!

Tornado S, do you want to pick out a story?  NO!

And sometimes his no means yes.

Do you want a muffin?  NO!

Do you want juice?  NO!

Do you want a cookie?  NO!

Sometimes he runs.  In another month or so, he’ll be faster than me.  Great.

Sometimes he stands his ground, shouting no with his hand out in a stop sign.  Like that will stop me.  Like the No stops me.  When will these kids learn that their mama is a tank?  She’s going, and they’re coming with her, no matter what.

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Personal Style

I’m pretty laid back when it comes to what Tornado E wants to wear.  Blame it on having school uniforms most my school career.  Blame it on the “dress code” my parents enforced while I was in high school.  Blame it on the fact I looked up to Melissa Joan Hart from Clarissa Explains It All.  Blame it on the fact I hung out with drama students my teenage years, including a boy who believed wearing a kilt once in a while was manly.  (Ok, that might also be responsible for me enjoying a good looking guy in a kilt, but moving on.)  Blame it on the fact I felt perfectly fine walking around a college campus with fairy wings.

I was sure I could handle anything Tornado E threw at me.  You want to be a witch for Halloween?  No problem.  You want to wear your cape to Target?  Let me pull it out.  Striped polo shirt paired off with camo shorts with his boots?  Fine.  You want to wear your doctor scrubs?  Okey-dokey.  You’re wearing your Mickey ears with one ear missing because you’re a super hero?  Sure.  Chargers jersey, brown-floral shorts, cowboy hat, and orange crocs?  All right.

I was looking forward to a little girl playing soccer in a princess dress, so of course I’m prepared for Tornado E’s dressing creativity.   I love his creativity.  I took pictures for a week of his outfits before school started because I was worried what socialization would do to his style.  I know when people look at him they know he dressed himself.  Picking out his clothes is the only reason Tornado E gets dressed.  The kid would be a nudist if he could.  But like his Mommy, he loves color, so he loves to wear his own style of clothing.  And I could dig it.

But now he wants to wear his shirt and shorts backwards.

What?!  Are you kidding me?  No.  Absolutely not.  No way.  Do you want to look certifiable?  Do I want to look certifiable?  Some lines just have to be drawn.  Like no sandals in the winter.  Like no jeans in the hot, hot desert summer.  Like all clothes have to be facing the correct way.

A year ago I was wrestling to put clothes on him, and now I’m wrestling to put the clothes right on him.

I tried reverse psychology.  I let him wear it around the house.  I forbade it.  I chose clothes for him as a punishment.  I’m inches from bribery.

So any other suggestions?

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