It looks like . . .

Evan: Mommy!  Mommy!  Mooooooommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy!

 

Me: Evan, what?

 

Evan: Can you help me find my toy?

 

Me:  Which toy?

 

Evan: The green one that looks like a gun with an orange thing and it all looks like a bone.

 

Me: What?

 

Does any one know what he’s talking about?  Any one?

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The Brain

Evan: What is he holding?

Me: He’s holding a brain.

Evan: It looks like a mouth!

Me: Yes, it does look funny. But it’s a brain.

Evan: What’s that?

Me: It’s in your head. I have one in my head. Everyone has one in their heads. They help you think and do things.

Evan: It’s not in my head! There’s nothing in my head!

Me: (giggling) You have one, I promise you.

Evan: Wait! Master Mantis is in my head!

Me: (Laughing)

Evan: He’s giving me candy!

Then Evan stared at me, wondering why I was laughing so hard.


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Baby Possum

Evan: (as he climbs over me) I’m a baby possum!

 

Me: Where’d you get that from?

 

Evan: From the DVD and Blue Ray?

 

Me: Which DVD and Blue Ray?

 

Evan: The one with the baby possums!

 

 

Glad we could clear that one up.

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A Few Tornado Eisms

When watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with his Papi, Tornado E noticed the pacifier was the mystery mousekatool.  He turned to his Papi and said, “Also known as a binkie.”

 

 

When playing with his Uncle, Tornado E said, “You’re a B-Rex, Uncle!  I’m a T-Rex!  And Tornado S is a Baby Rex!”

 

 

Tornado E’s list for Santa included: Candy, Turkey, a Little Brother, a Little Sister, a Rocket, and a Wall.  Tornado E insisted that Tornado S wanted Baby Toys and Baby DVDs. 

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As Strong as an Elephant!

We have a book called My Dad! By Charles Fuge.  It’s a cute little board book, so if you have little ones, go off and buy it rather than print out this page because the pictures really create the story (and if I ever get famous on this blog, Mr. Fuge would sue me).  Any ways, we’ve read it so much that we ended up with Evan memorizing it.

 

Me: My dad is the roughest, toughest, biggest, strongest dad in the whole jungle.  He’s as strong as . . .

 

Evan: An elephant!

 

Me: He has more claws than . . .

 

Evan: An eagle!

 

Me:  His teeth are sharper than . . .

 

Evan: An alligator’s!

 

Me: And he can roar as loud as . . .

 

Evan: A lion!

 

Me: And he’s as . . . where did everybody go?  (added by us)  What’s that noise?  Who’s that?  It’s my . . .

 

Evan: Daddy!!!

 

This is lots of fun when we’re bored.  My father-in-law loves to read the book to Evan.

 

So this morning I heard crashing from the master bedroom.  Well, I looked over and saw Sean playing with cars, and I could hear the water running for the shower, leaving me with one unaccounted trouble maker.  I went upstairs calling him. There was Evan looking innocent in the middle of the master bedroom.  But I spied the curtain rod, which was already down, in the middle of the room.

 

Me: What are you doing?

 

Evan: I’m being as strong as an elephant!  Elephants are animals!  Elephants are strong like me!  They pick up poles and break them!  Like me!  Like you!

 

Me: Well, please don’t break anything or kill yourself.

 

(CRASH)

 

 

 

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The Thing to Put the Thing In

Evan: (rummaging through his toys) I need the thing to put the thing in!

 

Me: (As I come in from the kitchen) What do you need?

 

Evan: (Code 1: a little frustrated) I need the thing to put the thing in!

 

Me: Which thing?  What thing?

 

Evan: (Code 2: frustrated) I need the thing to put the thing in!

 

Me: (I don’t fault him.  I have issues about finding the right words, but at least I do hand gestures) What’s the thing do you put in it?

 

Evan: (Code 3: upset) Mommy!  I need the THING to put the thing in!

 

Me: (Keeping a cool and level voice) I know, but what do you put in it?

 

Evan: (Code 4: seconds from a complete meltdown of Code 5, which will result in tears, stomping, screaming, and an immediate evacuation to the bedroom for calming down period.  It all hinges on my response.) MOMMY! I NEED THE THING TO PUT THE THING IN!  (This time he gestures to illustrate a sword.)

 

Me: (Aha!) You mean this?  (I pull out the sheath.) 

 

Evan: (Immediate relief and back down to normal) YES!!!  (Evan grabs the sheath and a sword lying at his feet.  He places the sword in the sheath.)  I like sword fighting!  I like to fight bad guys!  I like to fight robots!  I like to fight Star Wars!  (Off Evan runs.) 

 

 

 

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Cowboys and Indias

Evan: Mommy, I’m a cowboy!  Where’s my cowboy hat?

 

Me: Downstairs with the stuff animals.  (All stuff animals and play hats share the same laundry basket.  It made sense at the time.)

 

Evan: (running back up the stairs with his cowboy at on.)  Mommy, look!  I’m a cowboy!  Ye-haw!  Where’s my boots?

 

Me: Try under your bed.  (As he outgrew his cowboy boots months ago, he could only where his blue fish/cat goulashes {They have fins like a fish and cat ears; I really don’t get it.}.)

 

Evan: (Wearing his goulashes, running out from his bedroom)  Mommy, I’m a cowboy!  Seanny is a baby cowboy!  Mommy is a mommy cowboy!  And Daddy is a daddy cowboy!  Where’s your hat, Mommy?

 

Me: I’ll go get one.  (I grab the joke cowboy hat my brothers bought me for my birthday {It better be a joke as it a rhinestone cowgirl hat that is completely not my style.}.)  Here it is.  (Now Sean is trying to tackle Evan for the cowboy hat; I place mine on Sean’s head, who is very pleased.)  There!  Both my cowboys! 

 

Evan: But where is your hat, Mommy?  Seanny, give Mommy back her hat!

 

Me: No, no.  I’ve got another.  (This time I grab my leather Indiana Jones hat {Yes, I’m that cool.}.)  Tada.  (The boys have switched hats.)

 

Evan: Let’s go, Mommy!  Wait!  Where’s Daddy?

 

Me: He’s in the shower.

 

Evan: Let’s go get him!  (From the bathroom)  Look, Daddy!  I’m a cowboy!  Seanny is a baby cowboy!  Mommy is a mommy cowboy!  And you’re a daddy cowboy!

 

A couple hours later.  Cowboy hats are abandoned.

 

Evan: I’m an India!  Seanny’s a baby India!  Mommy’s a mommy India!  And Daddy’s a daddy India!  Mommy, where’s my arrows?

 

Me: In your toys, by your swords.

 

Evan: (From the study where my husband is trying to put in a morning’s worth of work before he goes to the office.  Hahaha!  He obviously forgot to shut the door.)  Daddy!  Look at me!  I’m an India!  Seanny’s a baby India!  Mommy’s a mommy India!  And you’re a daddy India!  Daddy?  Daddy!  You’re an India, a gum-gum!

 

The more things change, the more they stay the same.  This better not be the year my brothers get Evan a cap gun.

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Ba-banana and Two-wallies

Nothing is cuter than toddlers trying to parrot the words their parents are saying.  I’ve read several blogs were little toddlers have learned to say Obama and McCain.  We all know children whose way of saying a word pulled at our heart strings to the point that we will never forget.  I feel that Evan has had very few of those words, or maybe I just forgot them and now that I’m writing I can pick out Sean’s.  Sean has several cute words right now.  My favorite is “ba-ba,” which means brother, Evan.  Of course, Evan doesn’t respond to ba-ba because it’s not the name Evan.  (Granted, he hardly responds to Evan any ways.  What’s just one more person to ignore?)

But there are two words that Evan does say regularly that just crack me up.  Ba-banana is obviously for banana.  Two-wallies is for enchiladas.  It’s kind of a round about way.  First he’s confusing enchiladas with tamales.  He used to like both, but now he prefers enchiladas, which he can’t remember the name.  So he calls them tamales, except he can’t say tamales.  He says two-wallies, which might be because he had them first when my best friend Wally was visiting.

A couple months ago my husband thought it was time for Evan to say banana the right way.

My husband: Do you want your banana?

Evan: Yes, ba-banana please.

My husband: No, Evan, it’s ba-nana.  Can you say ba-nana?

Evan: Ba-banana.

My husband: Ba-nana.

Evan: ba-banana

My husband: Try again. BA-nana.

Evan: Ba-banana.  (All this time Evan is holding his hand out to my husbands, reaching to take the banana out of my husband’s hand that is holding it back.)

My husband: Come on, Evan; try again.  BA-nana.

Evan: Ba-banana

Me: Just give him the banana.  He’ll figure it out soon enough.  You know we have a life time of banana and only a little while with ba-banana.  Then we’ll wish he still said ba-banana.

My husband: Oh.  Right.  Evan, say ba-banana.  (He hands the banana to Evan.)

Evan: Ba-banana.

As for two-wallies, I’m a little more concerned about that word.  He’ll be quite frustrated when he gets a tamale instead of his enchilada.  Maybe he’ll give tamales a second chance because they are quite yummy.  I also encourage parents to try cheese enchiladas on their kids.  They’re super easy to make with a can of enchilada sauce, warm corn tortillas wrapping around cheese (hmm.  I think I might have leftovers for lunch), and I started to throw in a carrot purée with the enchilada sauce.  And if my kid loves them, they must be really something to the toddler taste buds. 

And here’s to all the parents out there who indulge these creative twists on the English language.