Everything else is blue . . .

We’ve learned to strip Tornado S of his swimsuit immediately after he swims.  Or else he walks over to the grass and pees in his swim trunks.   Tornado S stood on the pool decking, naked, shivering in the wind, waiting for Uncle M to climb out of the pool after he fetched all the diving toys the boys let drop in the deep end.  My brother looked at Tornado S and then at me.

Uncle M: Hey, Fae! I can tell when Tornado S’s cold.

Me: From his shivering?

Uncle M: No.

Me: From the bright blue color of the scar on his lip.

Uncle M: Nope.  His penis is totally blue.

Me: What?!

Who doesn’t rush over to see a blue penis?

Papi: Well, we now know he’s pick up line in college.  Girls, have you ever seen a blue penis?

Me: (groan)

Papi: Or.  Some guys get blue balls, but I get a blue penis.

Me: (roll of eyes and groan) You know this is going to go in the blog.

Papi: Or. Gu-

Uncle M: Tornado E! No!  We don’t touch people’s penises.

Tornado E: But I want to see it!

Me: Tornado E, we don’t touch some one else’s penis.  Even if we want to look at it.  Here, Tornado S.  (I wrapped Tornado S in a towel and carried him in the house.)

Papi: Ok, how about this one? –

I slammed the back door shut.

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New penis rule


  1. You can only play with your penis when you are alone in your room.
  2. You are not allowed to play with someone else’s penis.
  3. You must have pants on to go out front.

And now we have a new rule:

Rule number 4: When in public, including the front yard, you may not take your penis out to show any one.

Thank God that Tornado E’s only done it to me.  But I sense a trend, or at least, a very embarrassing moment with the teenager who is babysitting for me.  He is becoming completely amused by the fact his penis gets hard.  My husband was surprise, but I wasn’t (I took a lot of Biology and Sex ed classes).  Yup, boys and men love their penises.