When you’re 18 . . .

Tornado E: Mommy, can you call me 79 82 90 instead of Tornado E?

Me: No.  Tornado E is your name.

Tornado E: But I want to change my name!

Me: When you’re 18.

Tornado E: When I’m 18, I can change my name?

Me: Yes.

Tornado E: Ok, when I’m 18, I’m going to change my name to JJ.

Me: Fine.  When you’re 18.

The Newest Family Member

One of my good friends went to Thailand to do humanitarian work several months ago.  Being the sweet darling she is, she brought back a hand-made dinosaur for Tornado E and a hand-made water buffalo for Tornado S.  Tornado E adores Toothy, sleeping with him every night.  But the poor water buffalo got the short end of the stick since Tornado S’s true love is his blanky.

Today Tornado E was playing with the water buffalo, playing with the horns, singing his version of “Where is Thumpkin?”  Then Tornado E left to keep his daddy company as daddy dressed.  Lucky daddy; they don’t bother him when he’s in the shower.  I walked in a minute later to put some jewelry away as the boys tend to sneak into the boxes and play with them.

The Husband: Tornado E was just telling me that he wants the – what do you call this?

Me: A water buffalo.

The Husband: Right.  Tornado E doesn’t want another baby.  He wants us to raise the water buffalo.  It’s going to need food and love, and it will get bigger.

Me: Really?

Tornado E: And he’s name is Horny!

What?

Me and The Husband: What?

Tornado E: His name is Horny!

Tornado E smiled at our hooting laughter and his cleverness.

(And I bet you thought I was talking about the Munchkin.)

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It’s all about names

Mommy, this is Sicky the robot.

Mommy, this is Sicky the cactus.

Meet my friend, Sicky the bug.

Mommy, say hi to Sicky the car.

This is my friend Sicky the bear.

My friend Sicky the monster is coming swimming with us.

Sicky the dinosaur is going to have lunch with us.

Mommy, Sicky the duck is thirsty.

Mommy, Sicky the octopus is hungry.

Sicky the worm wants to play outside.

Sicky the snake is my friend.

Sicky the dog wants to watch cartoons.

Sicky the turtle doesn’t want peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Look, it’s Sicky the rock.

 

Kid, we’ve got to expose you to more names.   I don’t know how, but we will. 

 

Look in the mirrors Mommy.  It’s my friends Sicky, Dicky, and Luke.  They’re brothers.

 

Ok, I can work on this.

 

Met my friend Sicky the truck.

This is Sicky the dragon.

Look, it’s Sicky the tree.

 

Or not.  What happen to Gooey?  I miss him.

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What’s in a name?

Me: I don’t know.  I think he’s still playing M’s video game.

My Mom: The food’s getting cold.  The boys are ready to eat.

Evan: Chawles isn’t here.  Let’s just pray with out him.

Silence as we all stare at Evan because we never get used to him saying things like that.

Me: Daddy.  Daddy isn’t here, and we will wait for him before we pray and eat.

 

Evan learned his father’s name early on and uses it to his advantage.  The other day he called for my dad by his first name in a perfect mimic of the way my mom yells the name across the house, so we were curious to find out if he knew any one else’s name.

Grandma: Evan, do you know my name?

Evan: Linda.

Grandma: Good job.  Did you hear Grandma-Great call me that?

Evan: She calls you that when she’s mad at you.

Me: And when Grandma-Great is happy.

Evan: And when Grandma-Great is happy!

Grandma: Do you know mommy’s name?

Evan: Mommy –(Last Name)!

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Sicky Goo-Goo

It all started innocently enough.  Evan found a new friend to lavish attention on.  His name was Sicky, and he was a Duplo piece that was meant to be the cabin of a train with windows and a yellow hinged roof to allow a child to put a person inside.  Sicky had a long “marshmallow” hat that kept slipping off as Duplos do when a child uses the hinge.  Evan played merrily with Sicky until Sicky started to cry.  Not cry, whine!  An irritating whine that travels through the ear into the back of the brain that makes you want to stick an ice pick into your temple.  If it had been my child who whined, I would have demanded words.  Failing that strategy, I would have put on my iPod ear phones and drowned out the child.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Mommy, Sicky is crying!

 

Me: Oh, no!  Poor Sicky!  Why don’t you give Sicky a kiss?

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: That didn’t help!

 

Me: Maybe Sicky needs a nap.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Mommy, Sicky is crying!  He’s sad!

 

Me: Sicky, what do you want?  Use your big boy words.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: He hit his head!  He needs a Mommy kiss!

 

Me: (kiss) There.  All better.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Sicky is crying!  He’s sad!

 

Me: What does Sicky want?

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: He lost his hat!  Can you get it for him?

 

Me: (I bent down to pick up the Duplo piece and hand it to Evan.)  Here you go, babe.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Thank you, Mommy!  (Evan clicks the Duplo back on Sicky’s head.)

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Sicky’s hungry.  He needs almonds.

 

Great.  We’re out of almonds. If we had almonds, Mommy would be snacking on them right now.

 

Me: Why don’t you look in your kitchen for some almonds?

 

Heck, it worked when we needed plankton for the star.

 

Evan: Ok.  Come on, Sicky.

 

Evan left me in blissful silence.  When I heard him return to the room it was preempted by the sound of Sicky.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Me: What’s wrong with Sicky?

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: It’s Sicky Goo-Goo.

 

Me: Ok.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Sicky Goo-Goo is sad because there are no almonds!

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Me: Did you look in your kitchen?

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Yes!  But there were no almonds!  I looked in the big closet (He must mean the pantry.),  and there were no almonds there either!

 

Me: Well, we’re out of almonds.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Sicky Goo-Goo would like some pecans.  That sounds good to him.

 

Me: We’re out of pecans too.  Mommy didn’t buy any nuts last time we were at Costco; we’ll have to wait until we go again.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: But Sicky Goo-Goo is hungry now!  He needs nuts!

 

Me: What else would he like?  How about some crackers or cheese or Gold Fish?

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Gold fish is what Sicky Goo-Goo wants!

 

Off goes Evan to get Sicky Goo-Goo Gold Fish.  But it wasn’t long until Sicky Goo-Goo needed something else.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Sicky Goo-Goo is crying, Mommy! He’s sad!

 

Me: What does Sicky Goo-Goo want now?

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: I don’t know!

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Me: Maybe you should ask him.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Oh no!  He lost his hat!  Mommy, can you put it back on!

 

I put back on the long Lego onto the top of the cabin.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Not like that, Mommy!  That’s the wrong way!

 

Me: (sigh) Ok.  Ok.  Here.  Fixed.

 

Evan: Thank you, Mommy!

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: Mommy, Sicky Goo-Goo is crying!  He’s-

 

Me: What does he want now?

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: He needs a kiss!

 

Me: Fine.  (kiss)

 

Evan starts to hit Sicky Goo-Goo with another Lego.  He toss them in the air; while, Sicky whines.  (Before some one runs off to call the authorities about this child play, I assure you that no matter how annoying my boys get I do not hit them with Duplos.  Because they’re too small.)

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Me: (interceding and grabbing Sicky) Evan, we don’t hit our . . . toys.  We don’t hit Sicky Goo-Goo.

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Evan: I’m sorry, Sicky Goo-Goo!  Mommy, give him back to me!

 

Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

Me: No. I think Sicky needs to go to bed.  He’s very whiny.

 

I’ve snapped.  I run into Evan’s room and place Sicky Goo-Goo into the doll bed.  I hush him and kiss him.  Evan runs in behind me, witnessing the bed routine. 

 

Evan: No, Mommy!  Sicky Goo-Goo isn’t tired.

 

Me: Sicky Goo-Goo is whiney, so he MUST be tired.

 

Evan: No, Mommy!  He’s not whiney!  He’s not even crying!  He’s happy!

 

Me: That’s great!  Then he can stay up, but if he becomes whiney again, he’ll have to go to bed.

 

Evan: Ok, Mommy!  Sicky Goo-Goo won’t be whiney.

 

Well, that’s the end of that chapter.  I walked away pleased with myself.  I picked Sean up as he asked for me to read him a book.  We settled down in a chair to read about dinosaurs, rhyming the words and pointing out different items in the pictures.  I whispered words, words, words.

 

 Sicky: Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!

 

That toy is going to find itself in a trash bin very, very soon.

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When everything is named the same

Does anyone remember Sicky the Sushi?  Well, Evan has decided this is a super name for all kinds of objects.

 

 

Morning.  In front of my parent’s house.

 

Me: Come on, Evan.  We have to go back in the house.  Papi put on cartoons for you.

 

Evan: But, Mommy, I have to say hi to Sicky!

 

Me: Who’s Sicky?

 

Evan: That pineapple tree!  His name is Sicky!

 

Me: That’s a palm tree.  (A two story tall palm tree) But it does look like a pineapple.

 

Evan: Mommy, can you carry me over to say hi to Sicky?

 

Well, at least, he, unlike Sean, knows that it hurts to walk barefoot on the rocks.

 

Me: Ok.  (I picked up Evan and walked him over to the palm tree.)  Hi, Sicky.  Pat him, Evan.

 

Evan: (patting the palm tree) Hi, Sicky!  We have to go now!

 

 

Later, at someone else’s backyard.  In the corner of the yard, there was a short squat palm tree.

 

Evan: Look!  It’s Sicky!  Hi, Sicky!  Look, Mommy!  Sicky has lots of hands!  (Yes, the palms do look like hands.)  Sicky has lots of feet too!  (I have no idea what that means.)

 

Me: Come on, Evan.  Daddy’s waiting for us to leave.  Say bye to Sicky.

 

Evan: Bye, Sicky!  We’ll see you later!

 

 

Later.  Back at my parent’s house.  We’re pulling into the driveway.

 

Evan: Look, Mommy!  It’s my friend, Sicky!  (Before I could wave to the palm tree)  My friendly cactus Sicky!  He’s a good, friendly cactus!  (I don’t know about that.)  He’s a tall cactus!  (I saw about nine feet tall.)  But he can’t wave back!  He doesn’t have any arms!  Poor Sicky!  But I love him any way!

 

Just don’t hug him, kid.

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I see the Moon and the Moon sees me.

The moon was pregnant with light as it hung low in the eastern sky, gliding along towards its zenith.  The cold air crystallized the stars, sparkling, dancing.  The world fell silent to watch the beautiful pageantry in the sky.  No frogs, no crickets, no cars, no sirens.  There was magic here.  It pricked the skin through the warm coats.

 

Sean pointed his chubby fingers at the moon, reaching for it, wanting it, wondering what to name it.

 

“Moon,” I whispered into his perfect little ear.

 

“Moon?  Moon.  Moon!”  He reached out as though he could catch the brilliant silver ball of light.  I chuckled.

 

“It’s not for you.  It’s for all of us.  It’s far away.  It’s beautiful.”

 

 

                                                               ***

 

Sean: (pointing to the sky) Moon!

 

Me: No, baby, that’s a helicopter.

 

Sean: (pointing) Moon!

 

Me: Close.  That’s a cloud.

 

Sean: (pointing) Moon!

 

Me: Well, it looks like a moon, but it’s really a balloon.

 

Sean: (pointing) Moon!

 

Me: That’s a plane, Seanny.

 

Sean: (pointing) Moon!

 

Me: (sigh) That’s the sky.  (picking up Sean)  Here.  That’s the moon.  Yes, it changes shape, but there it is.

 

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Sushi Names

For Christmas, Evan received an incredibly awesome gift, a toy sushi set.  He has played with it every day since he got it.  Evan is also in the phase of naming things.  He has named his sushi.  (We’re guess on what the sushi is since some of the pieces only look like real sushi from far away.)

 

Magurio (Tuna) is named Sushi.

Tamangoyaki (egg sushi) is named Juicy.

Sake (Salmon) is called Dooky.

Hamachi (Yellowtail) is called Hooky.

Hirame (Flounder) is called Sicky.

 

So we have Sushi, Juicy, Dooky, Hooky, Sicky.  And they all call me “Mom.”

 

 

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