Yesterday we went swimming as usual when it gets to be 106. (Ok, usually it’s 101, but it’s still crazy hot.) After we got out, the boys ran around air-drying themselves. I took off Tornado S’s swimsuit because he has a habit of peeing right after he gets out of the pool.
Tornado E came over to inspect Tornado S’s penis. He reached out and messed with it. This was much more disturbing to my baby brother than for me.
Uncle M: Tornado E! Stop playing with your brother’s penis!
Thanks, M. I think the neighborhood heard you.
Tornado E: But Uncle M, I like playing with it!
Just the excuse we needed to hear. I intervened before my brother could throw his two cents in about this turn of events. Is that the sound of Papi trying not to laugh?
Me: Tornado E, Penis Rule #2 states we do NOT play with other people’s penises. Next time you’ll be going into time out.
The Penis Rules
- You can only play with your penis when you are alone in your room.
- You are not allowed to play with someone else’s penis.
- You must have pants on to go out front.
- When in public, including the front yard, you may not take your penis out to show any one.