Where does the day start?
At 12:30 AM when I finally forced myself to bed?
At 1:20 to 3:30 Am when Tornado A was alternating screaming his head off and dozing?
At 6:15 when Tornado A was whining from his bed?
6:15 Get Tornado A out of the crib, feed him pain medication, feed him breakfast of bananas and toast that he will smear all over the high chair instead of eating.
6:25 Tornado S stumbles out. Put out breakfast for the boys, milk and day old blueberry muffins. Tell Tornado A to stop whining because you’ll be back.
6:30 Tornado E stumbles out.
6:45 Get Tornado A out of high chair, wipe him off. Swallow a bowl of cereal.
7:15 Dress Tornado A. Encourage older children to get dressed.
7:43 Save Tornado A from rocking chair. Ask boys why they aren’t dressed.
8:00 Shower. Dress. Save Tornado A from mountain of stuffed animals. Ask boys why they aren’t dressed. Point out they can solve their own problems.
8:10 Try to bribe older boys to get dressed.
8:20 Morning nap for Aida. Cartoons for boys. Morning nap for me.
9:30 Tornado A is up. So am I. The older boys are still alive and relatively unharmed.
9:45 Make meringue cookies. Start debating baking dessert for the week. Ask Tornado S where his underwear is.
10:00 Save Tornado A from the rocks in the back yard. Make him spit out the rock in his mouth. Learn the boys have emptied the sand box and that it has water from the rain.
10:03 Strip beds. Put sheets in the wash.
10:39 Tornado E learns to climb his bed without a ladder.
10:45 Save Tornado S from the top of his dresser.
10:46 Save Tornado A from mountain of stuffed animals.
11:00 Pizza nuked for the boys. Cheese, raisins, hard-boiled yolks for Tornado A.
11:10 Put sheets in the dryer. Debate doing my sheets. Tornado A starts to whine.
11:30 Get Tornado A out of the high chair.
11:33 Remove slice of pizza from Tornado A’s hand.
11:34 Remind older boys that Tornado A will eat what they don’t.
11:45 Learn that the wagon is filled with water, sand, and mud. And that Tornado A found it.
11:50 Learn that the older boys can survive 50s in only a shirt and underwear.
12:00 Tornado A starts loosing it. Give Tornado A pain medication.
12:05 Tornado A’s afternoon nap.
12:15 Lunch for me.
12:30 Clean up kitchen. Encourage boys to get dressed so they can help bake or do crafts.
12:40 Pretend I’m somewhere else.
12:45 Mess around online and look for new dessert recipes. Older boys have a wet sand fight.
1:00 Find new recipe.
1:10 Start recipe only to hear Tornado A screaming.
1:10 Tornado A will not be consoled. Tornado A must be carried.
1:15 Agree to let the boys make a potion. Obviously I was not thinking.
1:30 Bake while alternating holding Tornado A and placing him on the floor to scream. Realize the boys are too quiet but don’t care at that moment.
2:03 Learn what making a potion really is. Demand that boys clean up bathroom.
2:07 Try to make beds. Hold Tornado A instead.
2:30 Take out cupcakes out of oven. Console a screaming Tornado A.
2:45 Tornado A is content to play with a ball. Tell boys that we’re leaving in 15 minutes. Attempt to make beds, which makes Tornado A scream.
3:00 Tornado S is naked. Tornado E has clothes on but no shoes. Tornado A is screaming.
3:05 Pack up Tornado A. Drag Tornado E to the car without shoes and tie. Buckle him in. Tornado S hands over underwear and pants. Dress those clothes on Tornado S. Buckle Tornado S in the car.
3:30 Grab rest of the clothes. Go to parents’.
3:45 Carry Tornado S into parents’ house and hand him over. Carry Tornado E into parents’ house and hand him over. Carry Tornado A into parents’ house and hand him over. Go back to car for stuff. Debate fleeing to Mexico.
4:00 Feed Tornado A late. Hand Tornado A back to my dad.
4:30 Read the paper.
5:15 Hand Tornado A to my mom. Help with dinner.
6:25 Wonder if parents would realize if I left the boys with them.
6:45 Pack up boys.
7:00 Dress Tornado A. Feed Tornado A.
7:15 Put Tornado A to bed.
7:20 Draw bath for boys. Dump them in.
7:40 Bark orders to get the boys dressed for bed.
7:50 Read bedtime story, prayers, and lullaby. kisses.
8:00 Boys are officially in bed.
8:01 Crash on the couch.
9:30 Clean kitchen and great room.
10:30 Write menu, chores list, grocery list, rental list, email and bum around on the internet.
When would you say Monday starts?