Adult plans

Tornado E: Mommy!  When I’m a grown up, I’m going to get whatever I want.

Me: Only if you have the money.

Tornado E: Mommy!  When I’m a grown up, I’m going to say, “Mommy! Give me money . . . for the grocery store . . . so I can buy . . . a yo-yo.”  And I’ll be so surprised that I’m good with a yo-yo now that I’m a grown-up.  Won’t that be cool?  The yo-yo will go down, and then I’ll be able to pull it up.  Won’t that be a great idea, Mommy?

Maybe now is the time to explain to him about after college, I’m demanding pay for room and board.


It’s hard to teach sharing and being nice to people.  I sometimes wonder if as humans, we are naturally selfish, egotistical beings and that it is against our very natures to think beyond ourselves.  I struggle to teach the boys to get along, to share their toys with each other, or, at the very least, stop f-ing antagonizing each other.  Jesus.  Is it so hard to just not make your brother scream in aggravation because you said something or took away the toy or hit him?  Leave him alone!


So imagine my surprise when ever was upset that Tornado S had an eyeball balloon and he didn’t.  While Tornado E was at school, we were at the grocery store, where they were giving away their Halloween balloons.  When a store clerk asked Tornado S if he wanted one, he asked for the eye-ball balloon with a please.  All day, Tornado S was talking to his Eye-Ball Friend.  Naturally, Tornado E had to destroy this special bond.

After the third time of Tornado E taking the balloon and the second time of him putting the ribbon in his mouth to irritate Tornado S, I sent Tornado E to time out.  After the five minutes, we had a nice little discussion over when something belongs to someone else, we leave it alone.  We play with other people’s things when we ask and they say yes.

Tornado E: But I like the eye-ball balloon!

Me: I know.  But it’s Tornado S’s.

Tornado E: But Mommmmmmyyyyyyy!

Me: It’s still Tornado S’s.  Play with the other balloon.

Tornado S: Here, brother!  You want to play with it?!  You can!

And then I realize my boy is the sweetest, kindest, most adorable boy on the planet.  And maybe I had a hand in it.

Notes on Halloween

1. When am I going to learn that I’m not superwoman and I can’t control time to slow down?

2. Sugar cookies take a lot longer when they’re really, really sticky.

3.  Really, really sticky dough makes me roll thick cookies and hand out dough so I won’t have to cut so many damn cookies.

4. Tornado A felt neglected because I didn’t hold him 85% of the day.

5.  It was too warm for Tornado A to wear one of his hand-me-down costumes.  Until we were trick-or-treating, and then it was freakin’ cold.  Stupid desert.

6.  Why do my sons change their minds of what they want to be just as I’m trying to dress them in their costumes?

7. If I knew Tornado S was going to go from a skeleton/vampire/pumpkin to just a vampire, I wouldn’t have freaked out Saturday when I found the skeleton costume was WAY TOO BIG and not braved Wal-mart and saved twenty bucks on sweats, lining paper, and other odds and ends.

8.  He did look like an adorable vampire with out fangs because he said he already had them.

9. Kid Halloween parties are a blast  Mainly because I don’t have to clean up.

10.  Trick-or-treating with friends is a blast because I have someone to talk to.

11.  Tornado S loved just walking around admiring the lights.

12. Tornado E had to compliment every house for something.  “I like your pumpkins.”  “I like your skeleton; he’s creepy.”  “I like the smell of your candle.”  “I like your roof because it’s high.”

13.  Glow bracelets are awesome.

14. I get a kick out of explaining Halloween traditions to people.

15. I’ve got to stop half-assing my favorite holiday.  Next year we’ll do more crafts, and I’ll actually post them.  I’ll make a kick-ass dinner.  (Though I made ghost pancakes for breakfast and octopus hot dogs for lunch)  I will get around to carving the pumpkin.  And I’ll make kick-ass costumes for all.  I will.  I promise you.

Decisions, decisions

Halloween is creeping up, and my boys are being seduced by to many choices.

Tornado E’s choices:

A zombie.

A viking.

A warrior.

A knight.

Dr. Facilier.

A skeleton.

A pumpkin.

Tornado S’s choices:

Dr. Facilier.

A zombie.

Dr. Zombot.

A skeleton.

A vampire AND a skeleton.

A vampire AND a skeleton AND a pumpkin.

Yes, Mom, it WOULD be easier to just pick out costumes for them.  But would be the fun of that?

Check please

Tornado E had his first field trip this year.  The kindergartners went to the sheriff department station, a grocery store, and a pizza joint, where each child got to make his or her own pizza to eat.

Since Tornado A is still attached at the breast, I had to sit this one out.  I know, bummer.  So one of the mom’s related this story to me.

She was supervising the kids in washing their hands, thinking Wow, what a cute place; I should bring the family here.

Tornado E: Hey!  Look at that bug!