About once a week I get to pick up Tornado E at school without boys. (It’s like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders/arms for fifteen minutes.) On this day, I can talk and ask questions without interrupting myself to say “Don’t hit your brother,” “Keep your hands off your brother,” “Don’t give the baby that toy,” and “Don’t practice laughing because it makes the baby laugh because it’s too loud.”
Tornado E: Today, at school, we learned about, Heaven and Hell.
Ok. I knew there would be a backlash to sending my child to a Christian school. But I was sure the Heaven-vs-Hell talk didn’t happen until the child was old enough to understand sin. I thought I had a few years. Crap.
Tornado E: And I raised my hand and told the teacher, that Uncle M, had a really COOL Hell song.
I guess I forgot about The Friendly Giant’s music taste and the fact he has taken it upon himself to educate my boys in the finer things of live. Alternative rock. Which I was fine with because that’s what I blasted around the boys, though tempered with The Beatles, Jewel, some country, and of course, classic protest songs of the ’60’s. And all this was tied into one little word. Crap.
Me: So what did the teacher say?
Tornado E: (in a disappointed and sullen voice) Nothing.
Me: Please tell Uncle M this story when you get to your grandma’s house.
And my ever-obedient son (I know, that was tongue in cheek) ran to The Friendly Giant’s room the minute he got into the house. After a moment, I heard the loud and pure laughter of my brother ringing through the house.
I related the story to my parents later.
Papi: Tornado E could you sing us the song?
Tornado E: Ok. (pause) Where do bad people go when they die? They don’t go to heaven where the angels fly. The go to a lake of fire and fry.
And it was perfect pitch, tune, and tone.
Thank God, he didn’t sing it at school.