Confusing Biology

As I sat peeing, Evan came in to see me.

Evan: Oh, I have to pee too!

Evan sat on his potty and started peeing.

Evan: Mommy, are you peeing from your bottom?

I see that our biology is a little weak.  But do I want to explain what a urethra is?  Should I keep it simple, allowing for years of misinformation and misunderstanding of the female body.  Forgive me, future biology teachers, I’ll correct it my mistake before he comes to you.

Me: No.  Girls have a vagina.  That’s where they pee.

Evan: Oh.  Mommy, where is your gina?

Me: (standing up and pulling my underwear and pants on.  I point to my crotch.)  Here.

Evan: Can I see your gina?

Excuse me?  You can see one in sex ed when you’re older.  You’re can see a real one when you’re in college and in love.

Me: No.  It’s private.

A few hours later, I was washing some dishes, when I heard my husband peeing with the door open.  Evan heard him too and joined him.

Evan: Daddy, do you have a gina?

My husband: No!

Ok, we’re still having issues with human biology.

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A Biology Lesson or what did you just call it?

Evan: I have a penis!


Me: That’s right.  You’re a boy, and boys have penises.


Evan: I’m a boy!  I have a penis!  Mommy, you have a penis!


Me: No, Mommy doesn’t have a penis.  Evan has a penis.  Mommy is a girl.  She has a vagina.


Evan: Mommy has a gina!  I have a gina!


Me: No, you don’t have a vagina.  You’re a boy; you have a penis.  I’m a girl; I have a vagina.


Evan: No, I have a gina!  Mommy has a gina!  I have a gina!


Me: You have a penis.  Mommy has a gina.


Evan: Mommy has a gina!  I have a gina!


Me: Boys have penises.  You have a penis.


Evan: Boys have ginas!  I have a gina. 


Me: (Sigh) You know you have a penis.  You were playing with it today.


Evan: I was tickling it.  It’s called a gina!


Me: Boys have penises.  And you know it.  You’re being silly.


Evan: No, you’re being silly!


Me: (aha!) No, you’re being silly.


Evan: No, you’re being silly!


Me: You’re being funny.


Evan: You’re being funny!


Me: I love you.


Evan: I love you!


Me: Evan is the sweetest boy.


Evan: Mommy is the sweetest boy!  And Seanny is the sweetest baby!



When you’re in the middle of a debate with a toddler, you don’t want to back down because you have a very important point to make.  Sometimes it’s just easier to guide the conversation somewhere else.



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