“Certified Zombie Hunter”
Me: (I looked up from my wallet) Yeah…?
Cashier: That’s a good one. I like it. That’ll be $8.51
Me: (handing her the money, still slightly confused) Yeah…. Thank … you….
Then I looked at my purse as I was putting my wallet away. I had thrown it on the counter to get my money. It’s an olive green messenger bag with all kinds of pockets, including a clear plastic one for IDs. I had a Certified Zombie Hunter badge there. To match the bio hazard symbol patch on the front.
I nodded, said thank you, and took my groceries.
One of my friends gave me a “Walking Dead” shirt for my birthday, even though I’ve never seen the show. People assume. And it’s a cool shirt. Almost as cool as my “Keep Calm and Kill Zombies” shirt or my favorite “This is my Killing Zombies” shirt.
Another friend gave me a magnet zombie ribbon for my car. It will probably clash with my Zombie Response Team sign.
All this zombie stuff people give me is weird. It’s not like I’m obsessed with zombies. Not like I am about vampires, faeries, fantasy, fairy tales, ass-kicking warrior women. I only have like 3 or 4 books about zombies. I did tell one of the new English teachers that she should totally read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies because it’s hilarious and she just finished teaching Pride and Prejudice.
I just don’t know why people associate me with zombies. I don’t watch any of the zombie shows. I just don’t have the time. Or the movies. But you should see Zombieland. I’m so excited about the sequel. But if you see Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, don’t compare it to the book. Two wildly different story lines, but I love how they deliver the back story.
Then the other day, my dad teased me for my lack of hobbies. Apparently reading, blogging, writing novels and poetry, and smashing the patriarchy aren’t enough.
Tornado A: She does! She kills zombies!
Tornado S: And she’s a vampire!
Tornado E: And a witch!
See, I have hobbies.
(Also dibs on the vampire killing zombies story.)