After commenting several times on An Outside Voice and the urging of Penelope, I decided to write my own list. In Order that Read them
- Romeo and Juliet (William Shakespeare): I am no fan of Shakespears, and I particularly loath this one play. The writing is ok, and I do have a few monologues memorized. As one of my friends points out, these plays should be seen, not read. With that said, I also hate the 60’s version. But I think the Leonardo DiCaprio and Clara Daines version was much better because you understood what the characters said, the actors understood what they said. If you have to read Shakespeare, I recommend Richard III or Midsummer Night’s Dream.
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Wuthering Heights (Emily Bonte): I can’t stand Catherine and Heathcliff. They’re jerks. Stop bothering us, and go to hell. I highly recommend Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.
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Billy Budd by Herman Melville: Good concept; painful reading. It has a great story line, but Melville is out to impress everyone with his knowledge in seamanship and vocabulary. In Creative Writing, we call that “Info Dump.” If you have to read a classic, try Dracula By Bram Stroker or Frankenstein’s Monster by Mary Shelly.
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The Scarlet Letter by Nathanel Hawthorne: Yet another great plot. Yet it gets lost in a blizzard of words. Someone told me it was originally a short story, and he decided to sell it as a novel, where he was paid per word. If that’s true, then no wonder it’s so wordy. I recommend The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper, which my brother really enjoyed.
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The Dubliners by James Joyce: We can all give praise to James Joyce for writing the “slice of life” plot, so that we could all focus on the meat of someone’s life and not have to read from birth to grave. But I just found that James Joyce picked the most boring slice of life. I hear Ulysses is great, though I haven’t read it myself.
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Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert: What’s to love? Really. She just uses men and spits them out, not caring for her kids, and then commiting suicide. A classic borderline personality order, or in other words, a bitch. Try reading Emma or Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin
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The Cherry Orchard by Anton Chekhov: Another play, another bunch of characters who can’t relate too, another matriarch with borderline personality disorder. If you have to pick this one or Madame Bovary, pick Madame Bovary; it at least has more meat.
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Heart of Darkness by James Conrad: It was written originally in Dutch (if I’m wrong, someone please correct me.), and then Conrad translated it himself, which makes it very wordy. I lost the plot. The purpose of reading this and Deliverance was for a class on evil in film and literature, I gave the professor my recommendations: The Stand by Stephen King, “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson, and “Those Who Walk Away from Omelas” by Ursula Le Guin.
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Deliverance by James Dickey: I just couldn’t connect with the characters. And that my professor called it a man’s man’s book, during the lecture, didn’t help either. I thought I knew I was missing something, a penis. Look at the recommendations above.
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Wicked by Winnie Holzmann: When I first saw it in the bookstores, I thought that looks stupid. Then I gave in because everyone was reading it and loving it. Then I read it, and I want those hours of my life back. And what was the point of that horrindus tiger scene! It haunts me everytime I hear the word tiger, and Evan loves tigers. I recommend anything else.
Just remember what Mark Twain said, “Classics are books everyone talks about but never reads.”
So what are the books you would recommend people to stay away from?
Faemom 