Yesterday we went swimming as usual when it gets to be 106. (Ok, usually it’s 101, but it’s still crazy hot.) After we got out, the boys ran around air-drying themselves. I took off Tornado S’s swimsuit because he has a habit of peeing right after he gets out of the pool.
Tornado E came over to inspect Tornado S’s penis. He reached out and messed with it. This was much more disturbing to my baby brother than for me.
Uncle M: Tornado E! Stop playing with your brother’s penis!
Thanks, M. I think the neighborhood heard you.
Tornado E: But Uncle M, I like playing with it!
Just the excuse we needed to hear. I intervened before my brother could throw his two cents in about this turn of events. Is that the sound of Papi trying not to laugh?
Me: Tornado E, Penis Rule #2 states we do NOT play with other people’s penises. Next time you’ll be going into time out.
The Penis Rules
- You can only play with your penis when you are alone in your room.
- You are not allowed to play with someone else’s penis.
- You must have pants on to go out front.
- When in public, including the front yard, you may not take your penis out to show any one.
Faemom 
August 28, 2009 at 3:27 pm
LOL. That was too funny. I love those rules. But really, #1? Aren’t they too young to allow them that?
August 28, 2009 at 3:50 pm
You made me laugh for the first time today. I think I will carry this smirk with me all day and if anyone ask why I think I will say: shh! penis rules. lol
August 28, 2009 at 4:15 pm
OMG I laughed so hard I almost cried when I read this.
Though I am going to have to adopt these rules. Particularly #3 and 4.
August 28, 2009 at 10:22 pm
I am so posting these in my house.
August 28, 2009 at 11:02 pm
I LOVE IT!
I’m going to have to institute these when mine gets older.
August 28, 2009 at 11:41 pm
[…] (haven’t done enough kegels exercises yet following your birth – tut tut me) reading a story from another mum. Which struck a chord with me particularly as I’ve had a number of conversations in the […]
August 29, 2009 at 7:45 am
This is hilarious…I almost peed my pants!
August 29, 2009 at 7:50 am
I’m going to have to steal these rules, as well. This is hilarious! Of my two boys, one in particular would benefit from me instituting these rules at our house. Evidently, my constant phrase of “That’s for private time” or “Do you have to go potty?” isn’t working. I’m printing your rules out right now!
August 29, 2009 at 1:14 pm
This is brilliant! I am so going to use these with Kai when he’s older… (although given his tendency to pull it HARD when naked at the mo I may have to add in a #5 – Do not try and pull your penis off, especially in front of daddy as it makes his eyes water).
August 29, 2009 at 9:13 pm
I think you should start creating things like place mats and t-shirts with these rules on them.
August 29, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Oh, I’m so glad someone is laying these rules out for me. And, I agree with CK – you must come up with some kind of item(s) with these very important rules printed on them.
August 31, 2009 at 9:59 am
Number 4 = especially good since it’s also a law. 😉
August 31, 2009 at 1:52 pm
ymK~ I don’t want to insteal a sense of shame. You’ll be surprised to how many men believed as boys that they were doing something wrong when they learned to masterbate.
insider~ My work here is done.
Coco~ Borrow at will.
Brooke~ Don’t forget to frame them.
Rackster~ They do come in handy.
MPM~ Just doing my job.
jane~ Being a broken record is what being a mom is all about.
Josie~ LOL I haven’t seen that yet.
ck~ Then I could sell them and become a millionare.
CynthiaK~ It’s amazing we have to make rules up like this.
Ink~ Good point! When he’s older, I’ll have to remind him it’s the law.
September 1, 2009 at 7:46 pm
OMG I have to copy those down and teach them to O. that is so funny. l et’s make a t-shirt. *L*
September 2, 2009 at 2:31 pm
T-shirt for parents or for the boys?
September 3, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Haha! Hopefully your neighbors had boys. 😀 Your brother’s reaction was priceless!
September 4, 2009 at 11:35 am
Our last neighborhood was mainly girls, but they were all older. So no harm, no foul, right?