Gotda- Sonofa- UUGH!!!

Ever had one of THOSE mornings.

The morning that should go right because you DID get up early, you DID make lunches the night before, hell you even HAD the breakfast dishes out and ready.  Yet, with an hour and 45 minutes to get three boys ready and yourself, you barely made it to school on time.  BECAUSE they were playing with this toy or that, playing this game or that, complaining about this thing or that.  All the while you’ve repeated yourself enough times that you just KNOW this is a curse from your mother because you must have done the same thing. Once you had it to HERE, you pull out the big guns.  The ones you save for special occasions like when your child is trying to cock-fight with his brother or your child is trying to get a jar of jelly while bringing down the rest of them or your son is displaying his little manhood in public to his friends.  (Wait, that last one might be just me.)  So you use The Voice and command like God to get their acts together and get ready so help you God, you may have to something drastic.  Like strangle them.

Yeah, I thought so.

I once felt so brilliant.  The morning routine chart worked, having my boys ready to go, being dressed and prepared, getting school to early to snag the best spot and let Tornado E run off some steam before school.  But then cracks began to appear.  Tornado E was A personality and HAD to do everything in perfect order.  Tornado E and Tornado S made it a competition where someone always looses (usually Tornado S) and there were tears and fights, and I began to wonder if I was causing permanent damage to their relationship.  Then Tornado E realized that he could get the chart done right away or at the last second.  Either way, it got done.  So why hurry?  Now he doesn’t bother to do the chart at all.

I don’t like yelling.  I sound like a Harpie.  I don’t want to use The Voice because it’ll lose it’s a effectiveness.  I don’t want to be late; I hate scrambling.  I worry that if I start a rewards system, I’m rewarding them for things they should always be doing.  Like picking up their toys.

So I ask you, wise parents, any one got anything?

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4 Responses to “Gotda- Sonofa- UUGH!!!”

  1. zeemaid Says:

    I got nothing… mainly cause I’m in the same boat as you are and am always on the look out for advice for myself. Mornings are always tough. I do find making sure I’m up early and organized helps and then it’s just nag, nag, nag until they get it done. Still that’s less than stellar advice I know. 🙂

  2. jc Says:

    Get a bullhorn, a water bottle – spread the hell around! Howzbout a taser? Can you turn the basement into solitary confinement?

    Sorry, I’m kidding. No, not really. Ok, maybe a little.

    My BFF puts toys on timeout. They are on top of fridges, bathroom cabinets, bookshelves. I think she has a buzzer that when it goes off, toys get put away or they go on timeout.

  3. itneverrainsinseattle Says:

    My stbx-wife has created a calendar star-chart reward system. It really only works for the middle child, a five-year-old, right now, because the oldest (8-years-old) is old enough and motivated enough to bike to school on his own, and wants to get there on time to be with his buddies, and the youngest is (currently) generally cooperative.

    But the 5-year-old gets a star on the calendar days for the days he is cooperative enough that they can get to his kindergarten on time, and those stars eventually accumulate enough to the point where an action figure or some such is earned.

    It’s not fool proof, but it helps tremendously. And while we similarly agree that it violates our philosophical principals (you shouldn’t have to pay your kids to cooperate), it does get us past this phase and as his older brother reveals, they eventually find other rewards to motivate them. In the end, it’s rewards and punishments that motivate a great deal of behavior, both for children and adults. The trick is moving those levers into something the kids can use on themselves as quickly yet subtly as possible.

    As for the toy time out idea: I do that, too. Sometimes, giving the kids a time out can create a different, more unpleasant battle than just time-outting the toy. And, in my experience, taking away the toy seems more effective and less of a struggle of wills than trying to enforce a time-out.

    (Not that I’m above giving the kids a time-out.)

    (Oh, and in case you’re wondering, no, my stbx doesn’t seem to do time-outs all that often. In that regard, the “enforcing” is left up to me.)

  4. faemom Says:

    zeemaid~ A friend of mine mentioned that she gets stressed when there is a time-crunch as well as the kids acting out. I think you and I are with her.
    jc~ I like the toy time-out. I do it when the toy is used as a weapon. But that is a great idea for getting the boys to move it or lose it.
    inris~ I’ve been really debating the rewards system. It may work. And it sucks that you are The Enforcer. No one likes that job.


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